Monthly Archives: January 2008

Friday evening – out of touch

I had a most peculiar sort of day.. Something or someone wanted me to be incommunicado today… First both my blackberry and my laptop failed..actually.. it was the charger for both.. so I had no access to email or cell phone.. I had an early show in Fletcher, VT.. way up near Cambridge.. In desperation. I borrowed Diane’s cell phone to take with me.. I couldn’t be without a phone..   Of course.. there was no cell phone coverage way up there.. so .. I was cut off from the world.. Alone .. in the car.. with just an FM radio.. It was terrifying 🙂

Fletcheris a cute little town.. .. I think I’ve done shows at most of the elementary and middle schools in Chittenden. Addison and Franklin counties.. but I can’t ever remember doing a show here.. though I’m pretty sure I have

The snow was deep.. and it was still pretty cold .. so it was tricky business getting my gear into the school.. my electric go-cart actually got stuck in the snow !

I didn’t realize it.. but I was doing a show for the entire school. It was a great group of kids.. Note I have to blur the faces because it’s illegal in VT to post a picture of a kid in school wiht out a parental release form..

The show was so much fun. I absolutely love doing these shows .   Very few other things give me the sense of kharmic correctness that this type of outreach does.

I was done around 11, packed up and headed back to the real world.. I headed to Mexicali to meet a friend for lunch.. but we ended up getting our wires cross.ed.. he thoughts i was picking him up.. I thought he was meeting him at the restaurant.. and he couldn’t call me .. because my cell was out of commission..
No worries.. I had a great meal by myself.. and I just had to argue with myself over who got the check.   I love Mexicali.. the best salsa north of Texas that I’ve ever had.

From ther… it was back to work … I unloaded my science gear.. then decided that it was high time that I cleaned out my old office. The story is that I got a new office when I was promoted in the winter of 2006. .. I just never got around to cleaning out my old office.. which was packed full of 25 years of whatever it was I was doing.. When Sam died.. I just really couldn’t bring myself to spend much time in that old office.. so I left it full of stuff.   I figured this winter break was the right time to clean it out. it took me nearly 6 hours.. I went through every scrap of paper, every pencil nub. There are so many pictures in there.. happy pictures of our family.. and of Sam.. I broke down several tiems as I went through them.. yet it felt good to be cleaning.

Here’s a badge that Sam and I got when we stayed together at space camp in Florida

 The biggest job was taking down the hundreds of pictures stapled to the wall. Many of them were from kids who’s classes I’d visited.

And hundreds of books.. most of them technical.. but not all.. Many I hadn’t looked at in years.

And of course my picture of Jerry.

My blackboard still had stuff that Gabe had drawn when he was a baby !

I found soem pretty wierd stuff in there .. like this dried squid from a  trip to china a long time ago..

And this ‘Zatar’.. the stuff that gave me my stage name for my science shows.. and my license plate (DRZATAR).. It’s a mix of sage, sesame and sumac.. yum !

I was very grateful to have several friends helping me clean stuff out.. Here my friend Kevin is pulling out staples… He told me he wanted me to write ‘i will not staple into the wall’ a hundred times in my new office.

My friend Henry helped me with all the magnetic stuff on my door. 

I still had no phone. cell phone of internet.. I was in deep withdrawal. Thanks goodness for my talkative friends.

It was a huge mess to start out with…

But eventually it yielded to sheer force of will.. we managed to get everything out !..


I threw away and/or recycled massive amounts of crud from 25 years of work..

But even so.. I now have a huge pile of cruud in my ‘new’ office that I must deal with ! 

Don’t fear though.. I have some furniture and bookshelves coming to absorb most of it.. Even though I’m not done with the new office.. it’s a tremendous sense of relief to clear out the old one..

OK..the rest of the evening was pretty peaceful.. I got my replacement cell phone.. and a new charger for my PC.. so I’m back ‘on the air’. I have to say I enjoyed my day off-line.. Speaking of off-line.. it’s time for sleep. More tomorrow..

G’nite all.. G’nite Sam

-me


Thursday evening – blah

Hmmmm…  not much to report on today… I had a reasonably productive day working at home. Chai and I managed to get out for a brisk snowshoe at 4 degrees below.. It’s now 10 degrees below zero . heading to fifteen below tonight. I actually love this weather.

The rest of the day was productive.. but pretty uninteresting. For some reason, everything I touched seemed to mess up… my lap top charger, my cell phone, the car (again) . Towards the afternoon even my software started to go crazy… This evening a friend called from a small town in northern NY .. and all the power on his street went out.   I decided to call it a day…     Diane was up at Bolton teaching yoga.. so I took Gabe. Max, Mason and Emma to Bridge Street for dinner..

When we got home, we started to un-decorate the tree.

I’m going to miss it’s goofy stare I felt like ‘Dave’ in 2001 taking apart that tree… I felt like I was taking apart a friend. (‘I’m frightened, Dave’)

As Diane worked on the tree, I did a little cleaning in the old lab… It’s a room that I used to use as a workroom. One of the reasons we built the barn was to get the dangerous chemicals I used to keep in that room out of the house. As I moved stuff I kept coming across things of Sam’s.. Here’s soem of his guitar music in one of his guitar cases..



Here’s a ‘sword’ that he and I made many years ago.. he was always making swords.

And here’s a knife set he got when he and Max took a cooking summer camp many years back.. (‘remember this and don’t forget, never trust a skinny chef’)

He’s still everywhere, that boy…

OK.. time for bed.. gnite all , gnite sam.. I like finding your stuff.

-jc

Wednesday night – stuff

Yesterday I spent a few hours visiting with  my friends Beth and Tom .. I’m working on a memorial web site for their daughter Kate… It was really good spending time with them and their daughter Kelly. They’re just beginning a journey that we’re a year into with Sam… It is hard to relive those early times with them. yet it feels so kharmicly good to be spending time with them. There are certain things we can say to each other that folks who haven’t gone through a loss like ours can’t really understand.  I know that I’ve already said that a few times.. but it’s so important to me right now…

Tom’s license plate struck me as really special now.. nothing makes you more of a mom or dad than surviving the passing of a child.. It defines you

Even as I touch my friends tragedy, I continue to feel strong and centered. I think it’s a combination of things.. spending time with my family over the break… my new job assignment.. the reiki/massage sessions ? Whatever it is..  I started back to work today and I’m amazed at how energized and recharged  I feel.. Hopefully I can keep the feeling into the year… ..

I spent the day organizing all the things I need to get done this month. My new assignment has all of it’s deliverables falling within the next six weeks. My main project right now is a multimedia package that will show kids some of the cool science behind the video games they love.. I’m hoping that this will increase their interest in careers in science, technology, engineering and math. (what do you all think about that ? )   I’m working with my friends at Champlain college on the multimedia part.. and I’m loving it. I’m learning so many cool things.from them.. And I’m enjoying experimenting on my own.. Like these poor attempts at creating a talking avatar of myself  (see http://www.gizmoz.com)

Ahh.. I figured out how to get my own voice in there..

Beyond the video game theme, I’m also interested in creating some more YouTube-able short videos to promote wild science..  and maybe start to change kids view of science and scientists as being boring.    More and more I see that as my dharmic path..

Coincidentally, my friend Seth, a high school kid in South Hero .. contacted me about collaborating on some sort of science projects… Turns out he’s a whiz on Blender, one of the graphics programs I’m trying (unsuccessfully) to master.   He quickly put together the following animation to explain the quarter crushing experiment I blogged about on Dec 27

I’m really looking forward to working with Seth on doing some of these animations. , Max is going to hep me create a cool opening sequence..   then I  can start putting out some of these movies.It’s amazing when you put an idea ‘out there’ .. what shows up on your doorstep to help you out.

Tonight was fun.. Eric is back from Switzerland and came over for dinner. It’s always good to have him here.

There was also another small going away party for our good friend Rusty. He’s moving out to Fort Lewis College in Colorado to be a studious ski bum.. He’ll be majoring in skiing and Spanish.. Sounds like a blast. We’re going to miss him very much.

The not-so-wild party.

Two of the guys got stuck in the snow tonight. They chose a pretty novel way of getting one of the cars out of the snow.

We’re not getting much snow in the next day.. but it’s going to be mighty cold.. It was 2 below when I picked Gabe up at Bolton .. and 3 below when I took eric home.. We’re expecting 15 below.. Brrrrr

OK.. All for tonight.. More tomorrow.. Gnite all. Gnite Sam
-me

Tuesday evening – Happy New Year

Folks,
    I’m  too sleepy to write today.. I’ve only had 3 hours sleep since last year. Still, I’d like to take a second to wish you all a good new year..  This has been the toughest year of our lives.. It’s been an amazing one too. We all grown so much and seen our friends grow too.  I am starting this year still deeply sad, yet stronger, more at peace and more purposeful than I’ve ever felt before. I’d like to   thank the many, many people who have cared for our family and help us keep Sam’s spirit alive in the world.

 I know better now  than to wish for anything specific in this year. I’ve seen how the future is rarely like our expectation.  I can, still hope that it’s a year of peace and spiritual growth  for all our friends, family and communities.

Thanks you all so much..  and thank you Sam, for helping us to be strong.

-me

ps. Here’s a version of Auld Lang Syne that I really love.. it’s supposedly the original Robert Burns melody. I probably posted this last year.. but here it is again