Thursday evening – must be out of my heart

Funny day.. I woke up feeling really good for no reason I could place. I had a marci appointment around noon so I decide to work at home for the morning. I took the dogs out for an early morning run in the woods. It was so good for my soul..

had a busy productive morning.. then headed over to marci’s for a reiki session. On the way I was listening to our friend Jane’s CD in the car. There’s a song on there.. “Retrospect”.. that always makes me think of Sam.. I think seh wrote it for one of her granparents who had died or was dieing. When it came on, I broke down so hard that it surprised me.. I had to pull my car over because I couldn’t see. I sat and listened to the rest of the song.. then pulled myself back together.. feeling much better… and I was already feeling pretty good today. When I got to Marci’s I called Jane and asked her to send me the lyrics. Here they are (I’ll try to find a recording of it.. it’s a very good song)

retrospect by Jane Keir

there you go down a long and dusty road
and here i go toward the sea
i’ll be home after new year’s day
but it’s too late, you’ve already gone away

the twinkle of your eyes always brought a smile
to all who saw. i never shed a tear when you were there
with me. and there you go down a long and dusty road
we’ll meet again many years from now

life’s too short, it goes by before we know

but life’s not for regrets, life’s what we make of it
so let’s make the best of what we have

and there you go down a long and dusty road
and here i go toward the sea
i’ll be home after new year’s day
but it’s too late, you’ve already gone away

lessons were learned, tears were cried, but
the sun’ll set down again, the sun will rise

and there you go down a long and dusty road
and here i go toward the sea
i’ll be home after new year’s day
but it’s too late, you’ve already gone away

the road is long but it’s a road that we all must take
and we tread on moving past successes and mistakes.

I had a great session at marci’s.. We talked about Sam’s birthday next week.. and how that’s working inside me. I realized how my head is getting in the way of my heart . My mind is pushing me to be ‘normal’ .. but my heart is really feeling for Sam.. When my mind locks out my heart I get so out of synch with the universe.. I woke up the other day thinking of the phrase ‘I must be out of my heart’ .. just like I might say ‘I must be out of my mind’ .. That came to me again during the reiki session today. It really helped me.. somehow it seems to let my feelings get around my brain. I think it’s going to help me go into this coming week with an open heart and an open mind..
Which reminds me.. please help me get the word out on the birthday celebration we’re doing for Sam this coming Monday. We’re looking for folks to have fun, play music and bring food and memories to share. OK.. gotta sleep now.. more tomorrow. nite all. Nite Sam !
-me

Let’s mark Sam’s 16th Birthday

Memorial Day May 26, 2008

2:00-5:00 – Ultimate Frisbee pick-up games at Richmond Volunteers Green

5:00 – Potluck & Music at Mariano-Cohn’s house

Come
play Frisbee in the park or just hang out. Weather permitting; there
will be another rocket launch. Around 5:00, please join us for a
potluck dinner at the Mariano-Cohn’s house. The theme is sandwiches
and salads. We will provide bread, condiments, drinks & cake.
Please bring whatever food works for you and musical instruments, if
you wish.