Tuesday evening.. feeling a little low and quiet. The change of season seems to do that it’s just past 8 and already pitch black outside. I think we could all go to sleep about now..

One good thing about having Gabe back in school is that it generally gets me out of the house and to work pretty early.. I’m usually at my desk by 8:15.. that makes for longer .. more productive days.. even if there’s not much I could write about here. One thing that was on the agenda today was a filming for an outreach project that IBM is doing to encourage more folks to volunteer in schools. A film team (Jeff, Peter… and Mr. Becker) drove up from Connecticut this morning to film me doing a show for the Boys and Girls club of Burlington.. The club is a free activity based after school program for kids from the North End.. It’s a really nice facility.. there were abotu 450 kids there.. mostly in the 9-12 year old range. Great kids. It was a little crazy doing the show with the video crew there.. they had all sorts of lights and mikes.. and we had to keep the kids happy for about 45 minutes before they were ready to go.. We all practiced screaming while the crew set up.. that was nice because most of the kids were hoarse by the time we started. The show went pretty well… though there were a few times we had to back up and repeat things for the camera or sound. We also only had camera releases for about a third of the kids.. all the other kids couldn’t be on camera.. so I couldn’t pick on them.. or ask them to volunteer.. I felt kinda bad for them…

All in all it was fun.. I kept their attention and had them screaming at regular intervals.. That seemed like a success.

After the show I hung out and talked to the kids as I cleaned up.. they want to do some sort of big project together. I think that would be fun to do..

As we cleaned, Jeff and the crew interviewed a bunch of the kids.. It was fun watching them being filmed.. The kids were all so into the whole movie thing. I can’t wait to see how it comes out..

The funny thing is that they drove 5 hours to come up, filmed for 3 hours
and the entire video if only going to be 3 minutes long.. so my part will only be 30 seconds or so.. amazing..

By the time I was heading home it was after 6.. I dropped by Jacks.. or as close as I could get with the Richmond bridge out… to pick up Gabe.. I had to cram him in the car around all of my equipment. Good thing he folds up well !

We got home to find Diane making great progress on the downstairs big room. we’re going to start a major painting and trim job ourselves.. There’s a tremndous mount of prep before we start. Step one was to take off all the things off the walks and tables and put them away. one of those things was the table with all of Sam’s things.. some really precious photos, his lacross head, a few of the poems people had written for us.. other things of his. It had stood on that table since… the first days we came home after he died. All the stuff is safly put away for the renomavations.. and will come out again.. but seeing it not there was so… I don’t know.. it made my heart hurt .. At the same time it felt kind of like progress..

He is not his stuff… Today I found a broken rubber band on the ground in a shape of an ‘S’.. He’s everywhere

OK.. that’s all for today.. more manana… Nite all.. ntite Sam
-me

So I was half way to work this morning before I realized that I didn’t have my Sam button in my packet. It’s the very same one that I wore every day for a year after Sam died.. I now carry it in my left shirt pocket.. over my heart.. whenever I where a shirt that has pockets.. When I relized I’d left it at home, I almost turned around.. but I had stuff waiting for me at work… and went on in..

Try as I might. though, I coulld not get used to not having that button in my bocket. I’ve got a custom now of reaching over and touching the button whenever I think of Sam.. it’s kind of an uncouncious movement.. Today I realized just how many times I do that each day.. I’d reach for it .. and find it not there.. and then notice I was doing it.

You know.. I thik that’s kind of nice.

Aside from that.. my day was pretty unremarkable.. I had a brief but nice meeting with my friend Kerry. Kerry and his freinds collect and repair old military vehicle.. I htink I want to take a tank to burning man to drive around.. Maybe Kerry can help !

The weather today was so gorgeous.. that I tried to work a bit outside.. I managed to walk up and down one fo the IBM service roads abotu 10 times while I was on the phone.. It was so bright and beutiful out..

Even te view from my windo at work was intoxicating.. How’s a persons ‘sposed to get any work done when it looks like this outside ?

Ah well. that was my day.. I just ended it by takign a look at Sam’s Myspace page. Belive it or not.. kids are still posting stuff to him every few days.. They also send him private messages.. but I never read them.. they’re for Sam.

OK folks.. time for bed. See you tomorrow. Nite Sam
-me

So.. today I did retire my trusty old powershot.. By way of an epitaph.. this reliable little camera has made 3 times around the world, visted at least 11 countries, at least 15 states and taken g-d knows how many other trips in the 18 months I’ve owned it. It’s taken more than
10,486 photos for this blog which generate an average of 78,300 hits monthly to my photobucket account.

Here’s it’s last successful picture .. it’s of Angus and his family making the donation to Sam’s fund that I described in yesterday’s blog.

Here’s a poem in honor of my old camera.. it’s one I like from Billy Collins called
Consolation that reminds me of our oint journies

Consolation

How agreeable it is not to be touring Italy this summer,

wandering her cities and ascending her torrid hilltowns.

How much better to cruise these local, familiar streets,

fully grasping the meaning of every roadsign and billboard

and all the sudden hand gestures of my compatriots.

There are no abbeys here, no crumbling frescoes or famous

domes and there is no need to memorize a succession

of kings or tour the dripping corners of a dungeon.

No need to stand around a sarcophagus, see Napoleon’s

little bed on Elba, or view the bones of a saint under glass.

How much better to command the simple precinct of home

than be dwarfed by pillar, arch, and basilica.

Why hide my head in phrase books and wrinkled maps?

Why feed scenery into a hungry, one-eyes camera

eager to eat the world one monument at a time?

Instead of slouching in a café ignorant of the word for ice,

I will head down to the coffee shop and the waitress

known as Dot. I will slide into the flow of the morning

paper, all language barriers down,

rivers of idiom running freely, eggs over easy on the way.

And after breakfast, I will not have to find someone

willing to photograph me with my arm around the owner.

I will not puzzle over the bill or record in a journal

what I had to eat and how the sun came in the window.

It is enough to climb back into the car

as if it were the great car of English itself

and sounding my loud vernacular horn, speed off

down a road that will never lead to Rome, not even Bologna.

Good bye old friend.

I bought a new camera today.. much like the old one.. this one is brown.. I promise to carry it in a soft case..and never toss it into my pocket.. or a sandstorm.. or liquid unprotected. … a favor I never extended to it’s predecessor.

I’m thinking of naming my new camera…

.. any suggestion ?

After buying the camera.. my day was pretty unremarkable.. A few house hold repairs. about 80% of them successful.. then a trip to Homer’s to work on the ‘project-x’ monster.. We’re woefully behind schedule.. but it’s coming together to be sooooo cool.. Here ‘he’ is nearly fully standing . The 10 foot ceilings in Homers shop won’t let him rise to full height. . He’ll have a scary costume .. and a head… when he’s done.. He’s pretty scarry when he’s waving those 8 foot arms..

Here’s part of the integration team, Homer. Dave and Jana… Watch these pages for the final assembly.. and wish us luck !..

I drove home around 5 and for the first time with camera rounded the bend where the big red barn used to be.. Another friend gone.. Oh well… As the Buddah taught.. and we’ve learned so fully.. .. earthly attachments only bring dukkha or suffering

Well.. I’m going to go soak in a hot bath tub.. my fever’s back and I feel a more concrete form of dukkha..I ache all over. More tomorrow. Gnite folks.. Gnite Sam
-me