Hey John…

I guess I don’t always think that there are others reading my letters to you.  Some times I just yack as if I am talking to you.  Well I got a few “hellos” from readers checking in with me today to see if I was okay.  I am okay.  Actually I am very okay and I appreciate the love and care in seeking me out.  I love you guys.

So, I did a little rant last night.  There are times in my life that I just don’t understand people.  I reach a point that I am just stunned at what a human can do to another human.  It is not that I am in despair over how we act.  I have more hope and faith than the word despair.  No, I am just stunned.  Stunned that a person can decide to kill himself and take out 15 other people along the way.  I am stunned that we are capable of blowing up a car and killing those around us…not only once but 6 times in 72 hours.  I am stunned that a person can get up and go to work one day as a receptionist and have a man come in and shoot her and all her co-workers.  I am stunned that a father can kill himself and his children just so his ex-wife doesn’t get them.  These are desperate people.  Why not just kill themselves.  How did this get so big that one feels they must bring others along with them in death?

There are times I ignore this…times I feel compassion…times I look for a reason…times I wonder about what needs to play out here…what is the bigger picture?  But the last few days I have felt astonished that I share this planet with individuals who choose to kill innocent people as they kill themselves.  Don’t they even get it that there is no “get out of jail free” card.  These issues will still exist on the other side.  We are here to learn and leaving school early doesn’t get rid of the lesson. 

The media doesn’t even know what to say.  We all just tell the story and shake our heads because these events are so far off the moral richter scale.  We don’t even teach these things to our kids.  We tell them to stay away from drugs, use a designated driver when drinking and “don’t shake the baby”.  Do we now need curriculum that covers if you feel like suicide please do it by yourself?  Harsh sounding isn’t that?  Even writing those words are hard.  Suicide is a scary topic.  We dance around that subject.  Death is scary to people yet not talking about it will not make it go away.  I do believe we have the right to end our own lives.  I sure hope someone chooses differently because again…they still need to attend to the issues either here or at another time.  For some reason we still can’t manage that “thou shall not kill” simple rule.  Maybe since our society does not respect that simple rule it trickles down to the single individual. 

Maybe my empathy button is on overdrive right now.  My heart just aches for the terror and dispair felt by others in those last few moments on this earth.  I would like mother earth to just say “okay cut it out…enough already”.  Maybe we have to say it.

My day began to balance me with cleaning.  Much thinking happens while cleaning.  It’s a nice meditation.  I then did 5 hours of errands.  I don’t make a “good girl” because shopping is my least favorite activity. 

It began going to the dentist to pick up our new electric toothbrush.  On the way I heard the good news about our legislature overriding the govenor’s veto of same-sex marriage.  I was so happy I felt like dancing in the car.  I got to the office and it was quiet in there.  I approached the 3 receptionists and said “You probably don’t talk politics in the office however did you hear?”.  One said “oh we do talk plotics and much more”.  One out of the three had just heard and we checked our responses and saw we were all happy.  We did the “yes to equality” dance. 

Now I am more aware that there are readers of this blog who may not share my same opinion.  I hope over time you may see the equality of this event.  If not, know we can still exist side by side.  I love seeing that more and more we are becoming more equal.  To allow two people the right to marry whether they have a different skin color…religion..or are the same sex.  This is only good.  Hopefully Obama will pick up the wave and work this at a federal level.  My children’s children may one day write a paper in school about how odd that a law was required to create a marrage for 2 people just as Gabe is surprised that there were separate water fountians for blacks and whites.  This is only good.

Gabe & I finished the evening with lacrosse in the snow…yes falling snow in Jericho.  Satori and I ran.  And tonight Gabe & I watched “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey.  Just say “yes”.

Well, I am off to a bath and then bed.  Sleep well John.  love…d

I think I will end with Brit F.’s myspace quote.  I believe in the world when a 17 year old feels compelled to quote this…
  
“Until the philosophy that holds one race superior, and another, inferior, is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned, everywhere is war.”