I’m sitting here in an empty house thinking about Sam. Three years ago today is the last time I heard from Sam.. I didn’t even talk to him. He was down in Florida having a great time with his good friends. I remember the last call I got from him. I was at work.. it was late afternoon and I didn’t hear my cell phone ring, he left a message for me.. .a great message that you can hear here.   I remember hearing it a few minutes after he left it.. I was standing in front of my office staring out at the field.. it was getting dark.. I was in a busy set of meetings.. but the message was so sweet.. I loved it.. Here is what he said :

Hey dad, it’s Sam
I’m sorry I didn’t call you back the other day
.. we did out and did stuff
but .. um …
anyway, so today .. we’re going to the beach at his grandfather’s house
and I think we’re going skim boarding and stuff..
we’re going to be there most of the day
if nothing else I’ll you call you guys again later
so… yeah
today I crashed on the scooter.. ha…
I have two identical cuts on either leg
so I have one on my knee on one down to my knee
on the right side and the left side
from one fall, it was really, really funny
alright, so , I’ll call you when we get back form the beach
ok, love you, bye

I’ve just been sitting here listening to that message.. again and again. What would I have done if I knew that was the last thing I’d ever hear hi say.. would I do anything different ? You know. I don’t think I would.. It’s not bad when your 14 year old says ‘love you, bye’ at the end of his phone message.. or even that he bothers to call you at all while on his vacation…

I think i/we did pretty well..

I keep listening to it..   crying a little and thinking/remembering .. and it feels  good.. I’m listening to some Spanish guitar on the stereo .. stuff that Sm used to play on the guitar. .I have so many great memories of that kid.. so many things about him that I try o carry into my own life.. he has an amazing legacy…

It was this night in 2006 that we got the call that Sam had been in an accident .. the call that changed our lives… These last three years have been … what.. a blur ? hard ? interesting ? unforgettable ? … they’ve been the hardest thing a person can
Yet.. here I am three years later surviving… even doing well..   I think I’m even a better person now. Humans are amazing creatures that they can survive and even thrive in adversity like this.

Thanks to all of you reading this for all the love and support you’ve given me and my family for the last three years.. it made all the difference. Keep us in your thoughts..

We love you all …

Good night Sam.. you are in my thoughts now as much as you have ever been.. my wonderful, beautiful son…
-me