Hey John…

I guess I don’t always think that there are others reading my letters to you.  Some times I just yack as if I am talking to you.  Well I got a few “hellos” from readers checking in with me today to see if I was okay.  I am okay.  Actually I am very okay and I appreciate the love and care in seeking me out.  I love you guys.

So, I did a little rant last night.  There are times in my life that I just don’t understand people.  I reach a point that I am just stunned at what a human can do to another human.  It is not that I am in despair over how we act.  I have more hope and faith than the word despair.  No, I am just stunned.  Stunned that a person can decide to kill himself and take out 15 other people along the way.  I am stunned that we are capable of blowing up a car and killing those around us…not only once but 6 times in 72 hours.  I am stunned that a person can get up and go to work one day as a receptionist and have a man come in and shoot her and all her co-workers.  I am stunned that a father can kill himself and his children just so his ex-wife doesn’t get them.  These are desperate people.  Why not just kill themselves.  How did this get so big that one feels they must bring others along with them in death?

There are times I ignore this…times I feel compassion…times I look for a reason…times I wonder about what needs to play out here…what is the bigger picture?  But the last few days I have felt astonished that I share this planet with individuals who choose to kill innocent people as they kill themselves.  Don’t they even get it that there is no “get out of jail free” card.  These issues will still exist on the other side.  We are here to learn and leaving school early doesn’t get rid of the lesson. 

The media doesn’t even know what to say.  We all just tell the story and shake our heads because these events are so far off the moral richter scale.  We don’t even teach these things to our kids.  We tell them to stay away from drugs, use a designated driver when drinking and “don’t shake the baby”.  Do we now need curriculum that covers if you feel like suicide please do it by yourself?  Harsh sounding isn’t that?  Even writing those words are hard.  Suicide is a scary topic.  We dance around that subject.  Death is scary to people yet not talking about it will not make it go away.  I do believe we have the right to end our own lives.  I sure hope someone chooses differently because again…they still need to attend to the issues either here or at another time.  For some reason we still can’t manage that “thou shall not kill” simple rule.  Maybe since our society does not respect that simple rule it trickles down to the single individual. 

Maybe my empathy button is on overdrive right now.  My heart just aches for the terror and dispair felt by others in those last few moments on this earth.  I would like mother earth to just say “okay cut it out…enough already”.  Maybe we have to say it.

My day began to balance me with cleaning.  Much thinking happens while cleaning.  It’s a nice meditation.  I then did 5 hours of errands.  I don’t make a “good girl” because shopping is my least favorite activity. 

It began going to the dentist to pick up our new electric toothbrush.  On the way I heard the good news about our legislature overriding the govenor’s veto of same-sex marriage.  I was so happy I felt like dancing in the car.  I got to the office and it was quiet in there.  I approached the 3 receptionists and said “You probably don’t talk politics in the office however did you hear?”.  One said “oh we do talk plotics and much more”.  One out of the three had just heard and we checked our responses and saw we were all happy.  We did the “yes to equality” dance. 

Now I am more aware that there are readers of this blog who may not share my same opinion.  I hope over time you may see the equality of this event.  If not, know we can still exist side by side.  I love seeing that more and more we are becoming more equal.  To allow two people the right to marry whether they have a different skin color…religion..or are the same sex.  This is only good.  Hopefully Obama will pick up the wave and work this at a federal level.  My children’s children may one day write a paper in school about how odd that a law was required to create a marrage for 2 people just as Gabe is surprised that there were separate water fountians for blacks and whites.  This is only good.

Gabe & I finished the evening with lacrosse in the snow…yes falling snow in Jericho.  Satori and I ran.  And tonight Gabe & I watched “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey.  Just say “yes”.

Well, I am off to a bath and then bed.  Sleep well John.  love…d

I think I will end with Brit F.’s myspace quote.  I believe in the world when a 17 year old feels compelled to quote this…
  
“Until the philosophy that holds one race superior, and another, inferior, is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned, everywhere is war.”

So much to tell about…so late to do it.  Oh well.  First the sad news.  Well, there is quite a bit of sad news out in the world right now.  I envy you being kept from that.  I remember going to my yoga teacher training and talking a month long break from the world news.  It was nice.

Sad news from the North Korean missile launch…people needlessly killed in Binghamton and Pittsburgh…volcanoes erupting and the ground quaking in Italy.  I think the best comment about the newspaper was that it was a list of prayers.  It feels like that right now.

Sad…but not tragic…Chai is recovering from her third abdominal surgury to remove stones.  She went in Friday and is recovering well.  I am sad that her life will now change.  I am sad that she feels like crap.  She will be required to wear a muzzle outside unless she is on a leash.  There is no alternative.  We cannot let her go through another surgery.  So in my saddness of her loss of freedom I will know she will be safe.  I just always imagined dogs could run free and just be happy.  This is just unbeleivable that it could happen again.  Enough though.  We will keep her safe from herself and that will make us happy.  She can look forward to romping in thick snow next winter without her muzzle.

I cannot even venture into the details of my last Friday.  I am happy for the support of friends to get through that day.  I did spend the weekend in Montreal with friends on another adventure.  That will be discussed later.  I had great fun with Jill, Marcia and Page.  Home was taken care by great friends.

To end on an upbeat note I have some pictures Jen took of Gabe pond skimming.  He and Nate went last and it was cold.  Notice what the spectators were wearing.  Too bad Trevor could not make it.  It looked like a blast.  

The theme was “Woodstock and the 60’s”

Yes Max…this is the wheel chair you left in the garage….it now is spray painted and has Trevor’s old skiis on it.

Gabe…this is where you got those big bruises on the outside of your legs.

It rises up again and goes the rest of the way switch (backwards).

That looks way too cold for me.  They won a pair of socks.  I hear plans on making the wheelchair more adaptable for next year…maybe with snowboards instead of skiis.

Good night my love.  I will fill in the gaps of these days for you later.  For now, I am going to bed.  Much love….diane

John…..

Today was a gorgeous day. It was sunny and around 60 degrees.  I spent most of the day cleaning up some gardens.  Many bulbs are starting to push up.  It was a good day outside.

I started with my morning yoga class.  Then a walk with Jane and dogs.  From there just outside stuff.  I talked with Jeff and Rose.  They were cleaning out Roses’s car.  I talked with Lee-Ann.  All is very good with her.  She sounds happy. 

Kristin, Gabe & I put up the trampoline today.  Good thing Barry was here for his daytime sleep between jobs.  He helped with the crucial corners.  I talked with Brit.  It was good to hear her voice back in Vermont.  Marcia stopped by for a visit.  I’m glad we had a chance to catch up.  Today was a day to talk with good friends I guess.

Well I am tired and off to bed.  Sleep well.  love….d 

Hey John….

Thank you for all the goodies that came my way from you.  Jleigh dropped off some beautiful tulips and daffodils.  The daffs will be out any day now.  It was good seeing Jleigh.  She is growing her hair out for locks for love and that is a true act of love because she dislikes having long hair.  Also from you I received my birthday package from Marcie.  Thank you!  You are so thoughtful.  I did truly love the poem you sent me via Shane.  It is more important than you know right now.

My birthday morning was quiet and nice.  Gabe slept in due to feeling crappy yesterday.  He did feel better to take a few hours on the mountain with Trevor to celebrate National Gaper Day.  Here is a picture of those weirdos….

After dropping them off I went to see Marcie.  It was so good to have her Reiki hands back on me.  So relaxing.  She also gave me a bag of goodies…lots of chocolate and a neck cozy to heat up in the microwave. 

After Marcie’s stop I went straight to my after school yoga class in the elementary school.  Those kids are so cute.  They really liked knowing it was my birthday and the number 49 surprised them.  They gave up on “are you one? …are you two?” at number 16.  I shared my candy with them and some how word got down the hall and a cake arrived for me with a singing trio.  Apparently there had been a fundraiser and a cheesecake was left over so I got it.  That was so nice since I was not interested in a cake this year.

Back home and more flowers arrived.  My Mom & Dad sent a beautiful bouquet and Patti & Family sent 5 beautiful flowers.  Kathy also dropped off some of her award winning butter crunch.  I refuse to open it because it would soon disappear.  Oh, the morning began with Jen dropping off a dish (handmade by her) of pansy’s with a SamStone in the center.  That was so special.  Your parents are getting me a Jasmine plant in a few weeks, once the green house gets their shipment in.  I had phone calls and drop-bys.  I feel loved. 

The evening was quiet and filled with many phone calls.  Kristin dropped off Gabe and they stayed to eat cake with us. 

Oh and Gabe managed to get me some flowers to plant in the garden.  I think Kristin and Barbara helped the plan & execution of that gift.

I did also talk with Max several times today.  He is in the midst of another apartment venture.  Hope this works for him.

Well a great day sending and receiving love all around.  I know Sam was not too far away and some how cosmically knew it was my birthday.  Even though you are not here I also feel connected to you.  It’s nice to know that physical contact is not always needed to connect with someone.  Much love to you John.  Thanks for your part in my fool’s birthday.  love…d