Connor M’s memorial service was at 11 AM this morning. We knew there’d be a crowd.. so we had decided to park at Jack B’s and walk into town with them. Around 10 we left from Jack’s and walked towards the Congregational Church .We saw quite a few other friends with the same idea.. The day was sparkling, sunny and cold.. Everyone was quiet as we walked.. This town has seen more than it’s share of tragedy in the past 10 years… and I sense folks all feel that. . Jarred, Amanda, our Sam, Adam, Brendan and now Connor.

The church was packed.. and silent as we waited for the service to start. Really.. not a word.. though every seat was full. The service was shrt and direct. a few hymns. a few prayers.. and a really good set of comments from Rev. Ling the new paser at the Congo. She used the story of Lazurus to frame a message about how folks needed to move beyond feelings of  guilt and blame. It was heartfelt and direct.  She concentrated on Connor’s life, not his death.. and asked people to remember him for the great kid he was.  The service ended and folks shuffled downstairs.. again.. completely silently. Connor’s parents, brothers and sisters were there by the door greeting everyone. We had a breif moment of mutual acknowledgment in our shared loss.. then moved on. This was not about us.. it was about Connor. Seeing his family there  brought back strong and surreal memories of comforting others at Sam’s memorial..    We spent a few minutes milling around taking to people. It was particularly good talking to a few of the teachers from MMU.. they are taking Connor’s death understandably hard.. It was good to see him supported.   A bit later, Bucky B. started a slide show that one of Connor;s friends had complied. The pictures were of a happy and athletic kid.. I remember him out on the lacross field . it was good to see his smiling face. Watching everyone watching that movie put me over and I cried.. i felt so bad for connors family. friends and teachers.. .. what they are going through.. .. .. It’s no use to say that they will heal in time.. they will, but it’s useless to hear that in these early days..

After a bit. we headed home.. It felt good to be outside in the sun again.. Connor’s service stayed with me most of the rest of the day. not much else happened.. and that was fine.Life goes on.. it always does..

nite all, nite sam

-me