I worked at home today.. and took the afternoon off because gabe was on vacation. Our big job for the day was to finish his move form his old room into his new room… the new room is the one we call ‘sam’s room’.. It was the room that Sam had just moved into a few months before he died. Before that it was Max’s room.. and before that it was Diane and my room… It’s big and sunny.. and interesting.. it has a stage in it.
Since Sam died, it’s been half a shrine to Sam and half a family room. Honestly most of the stuff in there was not from Sam.. it was from his freinds when he died. The walls were papered with letters picture posters and paintings of Sam from his friends.. In the hours days. weeks, month, years after he died, we would go in there and look at all that stuff and cry.. sometimes smile and just be.. Lately it’s more of a hang out spot, I would still go in there to look at sam’s pictures.. but my heart would not be as heavy.. Its been more than 5 years.. and it was time .. time to reclaim that room

 

 

Last week Diane, Gabe and some freinds started going thorough all that stuff.. I was out of town.. and frankly glad not to have to do it.. in the end Diane did nearly all of it. In the end we have boxes of Sam’s stuff , his clothes, his things… boxes of letters to us and to Sam after he died.. and boxes of … well….junk.. it’s not sacred enough to keep.. but too personal to toss out.. We’ll do soemthing with it.. maybe burn it

Today Gabe finished the process of taking apart his old room.. Again.. quite an  archeology project. I helped by pulling out hundreds of  thumbtacks with him

 

By the end of the day, Gabe was moved in.. and his new room looked great !… It was all him…

He kept his brothers pictures and poster  on the wall.

I wasn’t sure how i’d feel.. but It feels very good for all of us  to make this transition.. life moves on, rooms change…

and some things just can’t change..

nite all, nite sam

-me