I am trying to take vacation, but not doing a very good job of it.. Imneither at work or on vacation fully. I keep getting drawn into work meetings that seem to be important.. Which get me churned up.. Then i spend the rest of my day trying to unwind from them. Still im only doing about 20 percent of normal.. And that feels somewhat good. .. Just not the disconnect i was lookign for.. Im goign to really try and shut it down for the rest of the break…

Sitting here trying to watch jurrassic world and thinkignabout work… Ugh

Nite all, nite sam

-me

Gave and I had the very good fortune to spend the morning with our friend Mike Larson.. He’s an amazing guy.. sees beauty in old stuff and brings that beauty out..

 

\

 

 

All these worlds
Rolled into one
Together we revolve around the sun
And if you get the chance
Watch the young children dance
In a little while, you will see them smile.

Truth may dazzle
Gradually
It all comes out in the wash eventually
Try to catch a glean
If you know what I mean.
You may even see the cogs in the machine

Reconvene, reconnect
Raise a glass to the Architect
‘Cause it turned out better
So much better
Than we ever did expect

Find your treasures
Where you will
Don’t you stop until you’ve had your fill
Wherever you may go
Look around, take it slow
There might be more to this than we all know

And if we have the chance to see the rough draft
I bet the early plans would make us laugh
And it never seems to help when we try to intervene
Some things are better left unseen

Reconvene, reconnect
Raise a glass to the Architect
‘Cause it turned out better
So much better
Than we ever did expect

glad i have friends like Mike in my life !

nite all nite sam

-me

Today marks the third day in our remembrance of Sam’s passing . On the 22nd four of Sam’s healthy organs went to save four peoples lives. That day was so surreal.. On the saddest day of our lives, Sam was able to give four other families hope.. and we were able to feel that through our grief. I will never forget the kindness and dedication of the transplant team at  the hospital in Clearwater Fl. as they found matches for Sam’s Heart, Kidneys and Liver.

:last night I woke in the middle of the night and remembered standing in the corridor as we watched Sam be shelled in to surgery for the donation. I’d not been able to think of that moment for the last 9 years. Every detail was clear to me as I relived that moment..

I remember what I was feeling. I was (and am) indescribably sad. (crying now as I type) . and I was so proud of Sam..  so hard to explain..

The rest of that day and the next few days, weeks, months are a blur.As fate would have it, we were able to meet on of Sam’s kidney recipient and got to know him and his family. He had 8 extra years of life because of sam before passing away this year.

We don’t know how the other three recipients faired. I can only hope that they too  had their lives enriched..  There’s beauty in not knowing what happened..

You can honor Sam’s memory right now by finding a loved one and letting them know what your wishes are around organ donation. I hope the issue never comes up in your life.. but if it does, them knowing what you would have wanted makes all the difference..

Thank you Sam for your generosity and strength …

we love you my boy

 

nite all, nite sam

-me

 

Today is the day that we mark Sam’s death. It’s beanie years. in some way it’s felt like an eernity.. in other ways.. it feels like’s just yesterday. There were many times today.. and many times nearly every day .. that I still can’t believe it..

Love is that strong..

 

I went around the house last night looking at pictures of Sam and his brothers. I wasn’t intending to capture them all.. and I don’t think I did.. but you can see by this collction that Sam is never far from our eyes, minds or hearts.

 

I came back from picking up Max at the airport to find a Yahrzeit candle hanging on the back door.  Yarzeit.. means ‘year time’. bandits the way my people mark the anniversary of the death of a loved one. our friend Maureen leaves one for us every year..  lit the candy for Sam.. and though about him.. what would he have made of this day ?

 

We 

 

at 1 PM we met a bunch of friends for our hike up Bolton Mt. Bolton was a favorite spot for all of our kids.. SO it’s become our tradition to hike the mountain on Sams Birthday and his death day..

we had a good group of friends gathered.. with their dog.s.. . The weather was mild.. and lost no snow .. tons of ice though .

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we walked fast and soon we were at the top

 

i broke out my moonshine.. ad some red bull  for a toast 

 

Gave, Max and I headed up tot he fire tower for our ritual.. for Sam.. Fireworks and redouble !!!!

 

the tower was just a little ricketier than last time 

 

then came time for fireworks.. as always lighting afuse in the 30 mph breeze was not easy. but eventually persistence prevailed.. BOOOOOOOM !

 

and a toast

 

at that point we realized that Chai was missing.. where was she ?!?! \

 

we found her half way down.. the climb was a little much for her and she was waiting patiantly for us.

 

then back to the hosue for a really nice potluck gathering . many folks came to help us rememberSam.. 

 

as always, we laid out a redouble toast for every guest \

 

then it was time tomato smartness.. 

last order of business was to mark Kevins birthday..

 

 

Most folks were gone by 9.. the house cleaning was mostly done by 10..

 

now here we are at the end of a long day.. thinking about Sam.. and sending him love… wherever and whatever that means now

we miss you my son.. we will always love you !

nte sam. nite all. -me