Hello good friends.. I’m on a plane ‘somewhere south of Iceland.’.. my average address these last 6 months..

I’m having a revelation of sorts on this trip home. Thanks in part to the thoughtful intervention (intended or not) of several good friends (diane, max, miriam, lisa, alexy, bret) i realize i need to seriously adjust my thinking here.

A turning point came yesterday.. I was walking down the hall in Munich talking to someone on the phone. I recall saying “i was getting beat up by everyone”.. he thoughtfully asked ‘by whom’.. i thought for a sec.. and had to admit.. it was actually ….. no one.. it was me..

yes. I realized that most (all ?) of the pressure I was feeling was somehow self imposed.. Now .. before you say ‘it was all in my head’.. I need to assure you that I actually do deserve a fair bit of pressure right now. . so much on my plate that needs doing.. .. that wasn’t the point. it was that the judgment about the work was coming from inside my head instead of outside… that voice iswas liek kryptonite. .. erasing my superpowers and turning me into that version of superman that you feel sorry for

href=”http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/superman_kryptonite11_138.jpg”>http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/superman_kryptonite11_138.jpg

a coule of seconds after that realization my friend Miriam came up to me to talk. she told me about a book she’d read called..
“the subtle art of not giving a f***”

i have to admit.. the writing is not great. from the tile on its goign for shcokc value.. but the thesis is simpleand sound. You have a certain amout of attention/focus and attachement in your life.. if you squander it on stuff that makes you worried/sad/angry for no reason.. you are gibing f*** where you shouldnt. The author Mark Manson is carful to sperate needless wsadness/worry from things that really do matter.. bandhe allows for a fair bit of grey area.. but his point is.. its a chioce.. whether concious or not where your attention goes

it’s very much like the Buddhist ideas around suffering.. dukkah.. but with much more profanity

one quote he has by Alan Watts.. .. is about the backwards law” roughly : the more you pursue feeling better, being better, doing better all the time, the less satisfied you become.. ” conversely.. the less attached you are to outcomes, the more intrinsically motivated and satisfied you become.

thinking about that. while flying very high over a really deep ocean

nite all,nite sam
-me