Brrrr.. I twas cold today. It was 21 below zero F when we woke this morning. Today was the first day back at school for Max and Gabe.. and my first day back at work after our short vacation. I ended up working at home  again. I’m finding that it’s easier for me to work at home now. I get fewer distractions and have more time to get exercise and to see my family.  I find that I’m now as busy as I ever was from a  calendar perspective. Generally every day is full of meetings.. My mind is in a completely different space, though. I’m still working at about a quarter of my old pace. I find that I need to be told things multiple times.. and that I find it hard to take initiative on my own.  I’m finding that I’m able to separate myself  from work in a way that I don’t think I’ve been able to do since… maybe elementary school. It’s really pretty weird. I’ve always been so driven and goal oriented about my work and I’ve always prided myself on being up on all the gossip and plans.. Now I have to work to stay engaged. I know it may sound strange.. but I’m more stress free now that I can ever remember being.. ever.. even as a kid. I’m pretty sad most of the time.. but just not stressed…    It’s not that I don’t care.. I still do.. it’s just that I can now detach myself so much more easily. The last two weeks or so I have  frequently found myself in a sort of ‘in between’ state between sadness and happiness. .. It’s kind of a dull feeling. .. I’m still very much engaged with people.. it’s ‘things’ I seem to be more apathetic about. I find myself wanting to allow myself to get sadder to release this dull feeling. I frequently have to go in and immerse myself in some of Sam’s stuff.. or thin about some good memory to get  this to happen. When it does I feel like a great pressure has been released and I feel at peace again.. it’s sort of like this kind of a cycle .. if that make’s sense: ——-..______****

   So.. I spent the day in that sort of dull emotional space until about 4:30 when I finally got outside. Chai and I braved the cold and did a fast snowshoe jog up through  the hill in back. When I got back. Max and I went up the hill to see Gabe’s last Wednesday  Night Rider’s competition for the season. It’s such a great family feeling up there. Everywhere you go you see Sam stickers, Sam Buttons and his bandanna’s . He’s very much a part of Bolton.

   We got back home and I spent a little time working on the SamStones.org website. It’s starting to come together. We still need to add a bunch of material. I’d like to ask folks to please take a look and make suggestions on the general format, the ‘Guestbook‘ feature (please try it out).. and the mapping feature I have  created under ‘Found a SamStone?’.  Currently folks have to mail me their ‘found a SamStone stories so I can post them on the map. I think I can eventually code a way to let folks enter their own. For now, if you have put a SamStone in an interesting place.. and you don’t yet see it on the map, please  send me a msg or comment on MySpace and Ill add it in. You can send me pictures or movies of the stones as well.  Also.. let me know any other features you think we  should have on the Website.

   Wow.. I just realized that I’m leaving for China and Australia on Sunday..  I’m going to be gone for more than a week.. not sure how ready I am for that   Sam.. I need you to watch over this place for me while I’m gone..

-jc

Here’s Sam’s name Snowshoed in the snow aver 2 weeks ago and still out there.