Nov 18, 2006.. that was the last day that I remember being ‘whole’ . Tomorrow, the 19th, is the day we got the call that Sam had been in an accident. TThe time has passed in such  surreal way since then . In many ways.. it has passed unbearably slowly..  Every day has been a small… .. i don’t know.. a small death.. every morning I wake up to the realization that Sam is gone.. . .. and I realize I’m something less than I was.. On  the other hand.. It has  passed so very quickly. The events right before and right after that moment are drawn in my
mind in such detail I guess it’s because I run them over in my mind so
frequently . My family, friends, colleagues continue to move forward in time, while my life is still tethered to Nov 19-21 2006..  It seems like some sort of wierd physics…

I feel so differnt….  But not completely bad different.. just differnt.
I miss Sam so, so much.

So now what ? Not sure what the rest os the week will bring…

Today was pretty chill.. I managed to stay ff of work and emal.. I di soem projects around the house.. I rewrote the code for the hardware interface for the viideo game we’re  writing for the  cystic fibrosis kids…   Then I worked ont he light suits that Gabe and John K will wear in circus on Friday..   Here’s Gabe showing off in the lights….

OK..   that’s all I can think about today.. more tomorrow…
Nite folks.. nite Sam
-me

I just got back from an amazing talk down at Norwich University. the speaker was Dean Kamen, the inventor of the Segway.. and a ton of very amazing biomedical devices. Kamen has always bee a hero of mine for the things he’s created.. but the most amazing thing he has created isn’t really a ‘thing’ I’ts the FIRST robotic competition..a worldwide multilevel robotic sporting event that nw involves more than 250 thousand kids worlwide.

The talk was in the old armory of the University.. iWhen Homer and I got there it was absolutely packed with Norwich students including the uniformed core cadets..
THere were so amny that some had to stand p on the balconey.

The president of the college… who’s also some sort of General..  opend the event.. which is the first of a series of endowend talks where the public is invited.

He poitned out that there were kids in the audience who’d participate in Kamen’s FIRST an FIRST Lego legue competitions.

Kamen made a dramatic neterance on one of his segways.. He imediately started talking.. He started with a segement where he was on the Colbert report.. it was hilarious..

His talk was abotu half abou t the inventions that Kamen’s company has developed … including a wearable insuling pump, a home dyalisis machine, a new type of heart stint, a new type of helicopter, a wheel ahcair that stands up and walks up staris, a stirlingin engine powered hybrid car,a prosthetic arm a stiriign power generator.. and a companion water cooler which togeher can bring power and fresh water to folks all over the world.  These were all very, very impresive acomplishments,..

 But as I said befrore.. Kamans biggest accomp;lishment ishsi creation of the IRST ropbitc leage.. teh robot sporting event that is cnverting more kids to scince and enineering careers.  Form it’s beginning in 1992. th e program as grown amazingly.. there are now 42 reginal events across the us.. and several overseas. The finals fill up the Georgia Dome in atlanta… Wevery year the winners get to go visit the president in the white house. Kamen also pointed out soem amazing statistics on graduates of his program.. Numbers on college entry, women and minority participation , the nmber of participants who chos engineering or related skills were all remarkable.

Kaman’s story really undercored some of the messages in the paper I’m doing for ISSCC that it’s not up to the teacher and the politicians to change this.. it has to be us as practicing engieners.   He said that the best way for us to help is to become involved in a program lie FIRST.  Man do I agree with that.

Kamen got a long standing ovation afte r the talk..we got to speak with him for awile.. that was cool. He’s a very smart and purposeful guy !

After the talk, we got to watch some of the kids play with their robots.. most impressinve !

It was very lucky timng hearing this talk. .. it really resonated with the nergy I’m putting into my outreach programs.. I’ll have to see how to work in soem of these examples into my talk ext feb

For right now.. I better find a way to make it to bed.. I’m falling asleep out here.
OK.. all for now.. Nite folks.. Nite Sam
-me

ps At on point, Kamen sited a great Einsein qute to hilight how our goverment has responeded to the educational demand of kids worlwide. He said..

The dfiference between genius and stupidity is that genious is bounded… 

Quiet productive and emotional day. Diane and I spent most of it putting pictures up on our newly painted walls. We have piles o stuff that used to be up on the walls.. now we’re trying to figure what of it goes back up on the walls… what we store.. an what we burn.   As you can imagine, handling these pictures is a deep emotional experience. So many emotions.. happy and sad.. We had to stop a few times just to cry.. It just feels so good to see these things up.

We also hung up our70-ish year old phoen we got in england. It took me over 2 hours to figure out how to wire it into or network. It’s insides arent’ as old as the phone.. from what I can tell. it was rewired in teh 1960s.. It’s cool to talk on it now..

Tonight I had a cool expreience.. My friend(and mailman) Scotty Ravenclaw invited me to a Drumming Cricle and mini-sweatlodge at his yurt. We had a small pot luck before then climed up to the 16 foot yurt up in the woods behind his house..

The ceremony was very cool.. It has four segements,one for each of the cardinal directions. Each direction has it’s totemanimal.. East is the eagle, south is the coyote – the trickster, westthe Bear, the medice man, and north the white buffalo. Each segemnt invoved drumming, chanting and personal prayers from each of the people there.   During each segment, Scotty placed sage and poured water  on rred hot rocks he pulled form the stove. The steam rased the temperature in the room to near 90 degrees. It was a very cool tradition.. We spoke of and meditated on what we needed in our life, the places our heart strings needed to go.. and who in our lives needed strenght. it was the perfect thing to do as I go into theis very difficult week. I  felt Sam very present.

The smudge on one of the support rocks  looked like Sam’s name when I didn’t have my glasses on.. what do you think ?

There was a ton of natice american stuff in the yurt.. it was a comfroatable and special place.

We fnished up around 10.. It was a great expereince.. it would be fun to do again in the real swaet lodge.. those are much smaller,and much hotter. I’ll try yto go to the next one.

I sad good bye to the folks at the ceremony.. Scotty, his son Sam Peter, John and Diane. they were all great folks. I particulalry enjoyed speakign with Johnn He has a bran enjury from his late teens that prevents him from remember ing anything.. Every day is a new expereince fr him.. he’s always in the present.. and an extermely nice and wise person. Whata cool hono r to meet him.. and all the folks at the ceremony.

On the drive home I had to stpp twice.. irest to usher this frog out of my way.. then to scre off a large herd f deer on the street.

It was wierd driving home whit this weathr.. 64 degrees  at 10 PM !.. That could be a summer evening !

Summer evening or almost winter.. It’s late now. Diane, Gabe and I watched a very dumb movie (the promotion) which we started around 1030 We all sat and watched it on Sam’s bed.. and it still is Sam’s bed.   Now I’m too tired to keep my eyes open.. I gotta sign off for today !

nite all. good night Sam !We love you !
-me