Tueday night – Donate life

November 22, 2011 johncohn Leave a comment

Today marks the third day of marking Sam’s death. Today is the day Sam saved four other lives by becoming an organ donor. His heart, liver, kidney and kidney pancreas pair made our saddest day a day of new life for those other folks.

It was an easy decision for us to make on the hardest day of our lives. We new Sam’s generous spirit would be grateful for the chance to help others. The process was as fascinating as it was sad.. As soon as we made the decision to move to donation, the staff at the hospital began the difficult task of matching Sam’s strong organs with the folks who needed them. On the afternoon of the 22nd.. four surgical team stood by to receive sam’s organs as e said our last good bye to him.. To this day I can’t go to that moment wihtout breaking down..

like now…

THrough an amazing set of circumstances around our work on the Discovery show The Colony. we got a chance to meet Bob , the guy who received one of Sam’s kidneys.. we even got to go to his wedding You can read about us meting Bob here

http://johncohn.org/base/2009/08/09/sunday-night-amazing-story/

and about this wedding here.

http://johncohn.org/base/2010/07/24/friday-night-bob-and-pam/

We also heard from Jessica, She was a transplant nurse on her first day of work when she assisted with Sam’s donation.. she also found us by watching The Colony

http://johncohn.org/base/2009/08/18/monday-night-another-amazing-story/

I still remember the skill and compassion of the transplant staff at the hospital in Tampa.. What a hard and amazing job.. . .. Our dear friend Alison (also from The Colony) just yesterday started a new career as a Transplant Coordinator in San Diego .. What guts and skill and heart that takes.. (We love you Alison !)

Then.. of course .. there was our close friend Dylan.. Sam’s good friend.. who stepped in as a friend and mentor to Gabe when Sam died. Dylan died last April.. and he two saved four people with the donation of his strong organs.. Going through that same hard path again with Dylan and his family was almost too much to bear. So familiar and just unimaginably painful.

Through these experiences, I’ve learned more than I ever hoped to know about organ donation. There will never be enough organs for all the people who need them.. the vagaries of supply, the difficulty of tissue matching. The most important thing I learned was the importance of ‘the conversation’. Many potential donations do not happen because the family does not know the donors wishes..

So.. that brings me to ‘the ask’,, You can do something for me.. for Sam.. and for Dylan… Right now.. Please turn to your family and let them know how you feel about organ donation. G-d willing it never comes up in your life.. but on the remote chance it does.. they will know.. We completely understand that some folks personal preference or religious beliefs don’t support donation.. that’s fine too.. just let your loved ones know… (If you have a moment.. you can even register your intentions at donatelife)

Thanks for doing that ..

We love you Sam.. and Dylan thanks for all you’ve done in the world..

nite all, nite sam

-mc

Monday night – 5 years

November 22, 2011 johncohn 1 Comment

Today is the fifth anniversary of the day that Sam died.. officially at least. His accident was on the 20th.. it took a day for all the tests and paperwork..

so we mark the 21st..

Today is a day I thought of even back in those early dark days.. i wondered what I’d be like .. what life would be like.. in 1 year, 5yers, 10 years.. .. Well.. it’s not what i imagined.. nothing ever is.. Sam is still so much a part of our lives.. We have joy and pleasure now.. yet Sam’s absence fills every moment. in our lives.. Not having him with us really sucks.. no other way to explain it..

He was/is such an amazing spirit.. kind, fun. strong and beautiful.. you see that spirit in his many freinds who are here with us today..

Our day of remembrance started at Eric’s house….Sam was with Eric and their freind Parker the night he died.. so Eric and Parker are very much part of our lives now. Eric couldn’t join us tonight.. so he offered to cook us breakfast.. it was great seeing him. .. as a bonus.. our friend Gavin was visiting as well.

then at 1 , we ll drove up to bolton to make our traditional hike to the top.. it was a beautiful day .. about 30 of us made the hike today..

here we all are at the top..

we did the first of our Red Bull toasts to sam..

then gabe, max and i went up the fire tour as we’ve done this day for each of the last 5 years.. No snow this year.. but it was well below freezing..

we brouht a hot air balloon to launch in Sam’s honor

and of course some (quiet ) fireworks.. Sam always loved them !

then back down the ountain .

around 6 folks started showing up for the potluck, there was a strong crowd tonight.. many of Sam’s freinds came by.. they are all now out in the world. It’s great to see how they’ve all grown. We really love these kids.. !

then another redbull toast..

and finally samstones..

It was a satisfying and packed day.. lots of love.. laughing and tears.. just as it should be.. I guess..

Oh.. we miss you so much my son..

your spirit lives on in our hearts..

nite sam.. nite everyone.. thanks for being there for us..

-me

Sunday night – When Sam died ….

November 20, 2011 johncohn 4 Comments

Now starts the three days that we mark Sam’s death. Our long process now echos those three terrible days in 2006.. so much of that time is etched in my brain.. so much of it is also still a blur to me. Even though Sam’s official date of death is give as Nov 21st..that’s the day he was legally declared dead.. that was necessary to allow us to move forward with organ donation. Sam’s spirit left his body on Nov 20th.. today..Sam was down in Florida on vacation with friends. he was having the time of his life.. Here’s a phone message he left for me earlier that same day
Click here to hear sam’s voice -> Last phone message from Sam .. Nov 20, 2006

At 10:32 PM.He and his friends were crossing the street. A driver swerved to avoid hitting one of Sam’s friends… and

and…

and.. sam left this earth..

A few minutes later we got that terrible call.. and our world changed forever..

It’s hard to explain what these anniversaries feel like. in some ways.. it feels like no time at all has passed.. in other ways it feels like ages have passed. I know it must look like we’re doing ‘well’.. but.. let me tell you .. it’s still very. very hard.. While this day passed for normal in many respects.. the turning of another year just reminds us of the totality of Sam’s death..

Thanks to all of you who have been checking in with us over the last couple of days. Your love and support is so very important to us.

Some interesting things from the day.. a beautiful beam of light this monring..

a patch of water on the back step (perhaps) in the shape of a snowboarder .. See it ? (everythign is a Rorschach test to a grieving dad)

The four of us went out to a quiet Chinese dinner at Joyces tonight.. Diane’s holding a SamStone ..

I loved my fortune cookies message.. you can say that again !

on the way home from the restaurant.. the boys took the van, diane and I were in the prius.. Gabe called us just before we hit home to tell us that the van had overheated on 117.. We drove back to find the car out of coolant.. and a funny smell from the exhaust (i know what that means 🙁 ) .. .. Oddly enough , the normally reliable Prius freaked out and wouldn’t start .. eventually it came back to life and started.. (All sorts of electrical and mechanical things went wrong shortly after Sam’s death.. ) I dropped everyone back at home and went back to meet the tow truck. The tow truck driver had just lost two brothers and his mother this year.. so we sat and talked for awhile.

Before he drove of with our wounded car, I grabbed Sam’s necklace that is always hanging from the mirror.. I wanted to have it with us tonight..

Sam got it in Mexico when DIane and I took him there the previous spring.. It spells SAM in Mayan hieroglyphics. Here he is wearing it before biting freind Kasey.