Friday night – counting down

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Back in Vermont.. and I brought Max back with me. He wanted to be here with us on Monday.. .. but why monday ? We mark a particular point in time that we knew sam was gone.. But his accident was the day before.. his organ donation the day after.. We find ourselves thinking back to those moments.. I go especially to the moments before.. the last time I saw him, the last time I spoke with him.. the last time I heard his voice.. the last time.. the last time

 

And now I find myself counting down the moments to feeling whatever i am going to feel over these next few days. We think of sam always.. but these anniversaries are particularly hard.. another reminder of the totality of his not being here with us

We’ve had a steady stream of friends coming through.. especially those who won’t be here on Monday.. it’s great to see them.. tears flow easily on all sides.. and that feels ‘good’. ..

 

I’m glad that were together ..  all of us..

nite all, nite sam

-me

 

 

Thursday night – below deck

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Greetings from the boat. I’m spending the night in b’klyn  with max.. I’m sleeping in one of the below deck rooms and I’m not getting enough internet bandwidth to make a decent post here..   so.. I’ll summarize by saying.. good day. Spent time in Armonk.. saw many old friends.. fell a little more back in love with my job. Drove down to bklyn in the evening.. great seeing max and Jac..

room is cold as hell.. (maybe high 40’s).. back tomorrow..

 

nite all, nite sam

-me

 

ps.. here’s the view from my bed here

 

Wednesday night – Douglas Sweets

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In keeping with the food theme of yesterday.. we had another sweet evening.. Diane was up helping Deb  with her new Shortbread business ‘Douglas Sweets’ . Deb makes the best shortbread in the world..She has plan, chocolate dipped, jam filled, lemon flavored, peppermint..   Really yummy and made from good stuff. most of it from here in Vermont, . Deb was up there cooking since 7am.. Diane joined her midday..   Gabe and I went up there around 6 to sample the wares and have one of Deb’s wonderful dinners.

Sitting around the table in Deb’s up on the mountain reminded me of all those days where we’d gather Deb’s house after Sam died..   that was where we went to be surrounded by our ‘winter friends’..   tons of kids on skis and snowboards, great food and lots of wine..

hose memories are coming back stronger with each passing day .. Monday marks the fifth year since Sam’s death.. and each day brings me some new memory..

it might have been 5 years ago today that I saw him for the last time… .. I’e been crying alot.. and it feels good to let it out.. each year is a little different .. and I know better than to try and predict what this one will be like.

we miss you sam…

nite all,  nite sam

-me

 

 

Tuesday night – dulce de leche

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Cool experiment tonight.. last Summer while Gabe was in Argentine , he  fell in love with a sweet glop called ‘Dulce de Leche’. The Argentines put it in or on everything.. and it really was delicious. I’d never heard of it.. but it reminded me of the ‘Leche Quemada’ we used ot get in Mexico.. that translates ‘burnt milk’.. and it turns out.. that’s just what it is !. Our freind Julietta is from Puerto Rico.. and she just gave us her grandmothers secret recipe for making dulce de leche . You start with a can of sweetened condensed milk.. You peel off the label..

 

 

and drop it in a pan of cool water… then you turn on the heat.

you boil the thing  vigorously .. unopened (!!) for an hour

then you let it cool a bit (we were impatient).

 

Then you open it.. and voila.. Dulce de Leche.. instead of condensed mile. you have this golden creamy goo that’s amazingly sticky and yummy..

 

 

the final test was to try it with ice cream

ironically.. or fittingly.. all we had was ‘dulce delish’.. a flavor based on dulce de leche..

 

it was a little differnt than argnetina.. but plenty good.. and almost magical to make..


try it yourself.. it brings a little sweetness to a part of the year that needs it..

 

at last for us it does..

 

nite all, nite sam

-me