We had a pretty peaceful day today. We woke to beautiful snow coming down. I remember how Sam would jump out of bed whenever he saw snow.. The memory made me smile. . I know it sounds strange but I’m starting to feel like Sam is sending me creative energy.    I goofed around the house most of the morning trying to hack a cheap linksys network attached storage device to run linux (no luck yet), figured out how to get an internet attached web browser to come up on my car’s navigation computer screen  and  went for a run with Chai. Later in the day Max and I went to see our friends Homer and his daughter Raye. The four of us talked about collaborating on an interactive sculpture piece just for fun. It feels good to be working with my hands and brain again..  Sam would like that …it seemed like he was always making things.
    I am always thinking of Sam as I work. I spend a good deal of time running over conversations he and I had in last several months of his life. Sam was a very wise and self contained being. The more I think about the more I’m coming to understand just how unique and strong his spirit was/is.   I spend a lot of time wondering what became of Sam’s strong spirit when he died. I so much want to believe that our spirits survive in some way. It’s hard to describe. but the more things I experience around Sam’s death,  the more convinced I’m becoming that they do. 
   Our friend Coco just passed on a message to us from her friend ‘G’ . G feels she is  able to read people’s spirits ever since being hit  by lightening a few years  back.  Though she never met Sam and has no other connection to us G said that she senses Sam’s spirit very strongly and  felt compelled to write us.. She sent us the following note via Coco:

He is a person of beautiful light.  His soul went right away with amazing brilliance to the place it was to be. His easy and smooth acceptance of this is a rarity and is much valued at this time for all of us. You can feel him in many things and see him all around. He is a light giver and helps clear paths for others who need him. What a beautiful loving person he is He is wonderful. Send him your love and all your feelings He is there for all of you too and sends blessings and protection and light to all of you always.

I like this message..  I know that it may sound pretty ‘out there’ to some of you, but it resonates with what I feel happened to Sam’s spirit.  I know I’ll never know for sure… but every day  I’m getting  more comfortable with my new  metaphysics, after all.. what  choice do I have ?
     Well not much else to report tonight. Hopefully tomorrow will really bring the snow storm we’ve been waiting for Sam.. please see what you can do there…
-jc
 
ps. We’ve heard that a few of Sam’s friends are still having real trouble coping with his death.  If you know someone who may need some extra help moving forward, please give them some extra  love and support . If you know someone who may need more help than that… please contact us, a parent, a school councilor or other adult. We all need to take care of each other. I know it’s hard moving forward.. but we all are going to get through this. Sam would want us to.. We love you all.