Monthly Archives: April 2011

Sunday night – shattered

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Today was a great metaphor for the proceeding week.. .. we’ve had some tremendous windstorms that manage to break out 5 windows.. 4 in the tower and one in our downstairs storm windows. The  ones in the tower were pretty cataclysmic.. the wind actually tore the windows from their mountings and smashed them  The downstairs one was actually a result of falling ice..

All in all I need to replace about 5 windows a year.. so this is par for the course. We have more than 430 panes of glass in this house.. so 1 percent doesn’t sound that bad.

todays repair requiredd cutting curves in glass.. not my strength.. but I managed ot get two out hof 4 trys.


Onther pane just blew out in the wind.. I found pieces of it strewn all over the front yard..

I love glass.. but it dwosn’t like me.. it can cut me from across the room.

first task is to strip out the broken glass and remove the old glazing.. yuck.. what a job


I was batting about 500 on the curve cuts it took me 4 panes of glass to get 2 perfect curves.. oh well, I got them

After the windows were done, I went to Chris’s to pick up his fiberglass freind.. I’m rigging her up with some proximity ligting and sound.

She was good company.. it was fun driving around with half a naked lady in my car.. I got some funny looks..

OK.. it’s sunday night and I’m falling asleep.. more tomorrow…

nite all, nite sam

-me

Saturday night – slow day

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Very slow day.. and we all needed that..     An hour drive down to middlebury for a lacrosse game..

with a brief stop at Homer’s to say hi and recruit his help on an art project I’m working on…

The game in Middlebury  was really good.. the teams were well matched. We won !..Gabe had a very good game..

It was absolutely freezing out there….  gabe was out playing in shorts while diane and I were wrapped in down coats…

It was snowing by the time we  got home… Spring, Vermont style

Diane’s moving kinda slow today after pulling a muscle in her leg.. She’s got to take it easy.. I like taking care of her..

Not much else happening. I’m grateful for such a quiet day..

Nite all, nite sam

-me

Friday night – washed out

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It’s the end of a tough week.. I feel really washed out..Grieving.. even by proxy.. is hard work..   All week friends have been checking in with us.. and with Gabe to see how we’re doing..   Many folks comment that Dylan’s passing must bring back painful memories.. .. we appreciate everyone’s concerns.. though it’s not exactly like that.. Dylan’s death doesn’t bring back memories for us.. we always have those memories…. every day..  ..  it’s much more that we miss him.. and we hate seeing his family hurting..   Again, .. we do really appreciate folks checking in

I’m feeling better now.. but I’m still in a fog and not thinking straight.    I had to take it easy again today…. Luckily it was a rather light work day.. I had breakfast with Burning man friend Duane.. then calls all morning.. I took advantage of the call time.. and some help from Justin at work to rearrange my office and hang some pictures of and from my kids.. Putting those pics up helped me feel better.

THen I met Chis and Kasey for lunch.. it was so good catching up with them..

Here are father and son tribute tats to Sam.. Kasey’s brother Jake has the same one..   that’s love.. !

The rest of the day was meetings.. then a short stop at Jim and Sue’s to check on them.   Then home…

I mentioned that being ‘washed up’ was the theme of the day..    The thought came ot me as I dropped my sports coat and my one tie at the dry cleaner.. I’d accidentally thrown them all in the wash machine when I came back from Boston suddenly.. I’m going to see if they can salvage either of them.. if not.. I’ll be tie-less !.    I also had to drop by Bestbuy to replace the bluetooth earopone from my phoe.. His was a replacement for the 4th one of those I’ve destroyed b accidental washing..

The perils of clean living I suppose..

Nite all, nite Sam

-me

Thursday evening – not quite normal

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I had the closest thing to a normal work day I’ve had in about a week. … I was on the phone all day, soem good meetings, some frustrating ones.. lots of catch up email.. some staring at data.. All in a days work.. except for a very productive lunch meeting with friends liggy jarrod and mike.. I got to about 3 o’clock when I realized how strange it was to be having anything approaching a normal day. Somehow.. it felt like ‘normal’ was not the way it was supposed to feel this soon after Dylan’s passing.
I reminded myself.. that now is not normal. I remember the day after Sam’s memorial service.. when out of town friends and relatives headed home.. the fridge was packed with carbo-loaded love from caring friends.. the flowers all over the hose, some beginning to wilt . and cakes, pies and candy everywhere. (There’s something about grief and carbs that go together.. ).. I remember that feeling of.. ‘what now’.. I called Jim and Sue.. and got back in touch with that weird timeless feeling ..

I always remember the analogy of driving near a mountain.. you could drive for an hour an the mountains wouldn’t get any closer or any further. Weeks ran int hours, minutes ran into days.. I think it was two years before my internal clock synched up with my external clock.. .. or my eternal clock..

I did get something today the grounded me very quickly.. Hannah sent me an interview Dylan did for a movie a local kid was making.. It was so good to see him again.. Here he is at his 16 year best.. 100% dylan..

OK.. all for now.. hope to get soem much needed sleep tonight..

more tomorrow..

nite all, nite sam..

-me