Monthly Archives: November 2011

Friday evening – 5 years of blogging

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5 years ago tonight I sat down in this very same spot and started this blog… I wrote:

Friends,
Our beutiful son Sam died this Monday while having the time of his life with friends in Florida. . Our feelign of loss is overwhelming.. but so is the feelign of love that we’re getting from our community and family.. Sam was such a special person.  He packed so much living into his fourteen years. He was one of my best friends. Like many people, I  wanted to be more like Sam as I grew up.  He was one of the most honest, true and real people I’ve ever met. He was so passionate about everything he did… his music… his snowboarding.. his sports.. his friends.. his family. I can still feel his strong arms hugging me as he did every day when I came home from work.  Sam is not goign to be around to hug me now.. but I promise to keep his memory alive and pass on his wonderful spirit. All of you reading this blog could do us a big, big favor by doing the same. Pass on the Sam… love your families, love your friends, be true to yourself and be passionate about what you do. The more Sam we pass around.. the better our world is going to be.
I’m going to do my best to keep blogging for the first year after Sam’s death as a way of working through things.   Our lives are forever changed by losing Sam.. but they are forever brightened by knowing him as only parents can. Remember  Pass on the Sam
Love -John

it was 3 days after we returned home after Sam died.. I was looking for a way to capture what I was feeling.. and keep family and friends in touch with how we were doing in that dark time…

Since then I’ve written here every day with the only exception being the 59 days I was sequestered as part of The Colony TV show. Though I didn’t know it at the time Diane actually blogged for me for about 40 of those days… .. In all I see I’ve made 1619 separate posts.. with roughly  27,990 pictures (hmm.. that seems a bit short.. better do some research.. I had to move my blog off of myspace to ‘here’ in a hurry last dec.. ,might have lost some posts in the transition).. ..
In the beginning, I wrote often about about grieving.. I see many entries about the strange things that happened to us in that altered state we were in after Sam’s passing. I also wrote about the amazing things the community and our friends did to support us. Over time the content has varied.. from travels to science projects..to family.. but always back to Sam.. .. Writing is still at least one time of day that I make a point and sitting down to ‘talk’ to Sam.. though most days its one of hundreds..
Writing this has been amazingly healing.. even more amazing is the ability to go to any date in the past 5 years and see how I was doing. I find it both painful and interesting to check back in with myself in those hardest of days.. I send back encouragement and love.. as if in some way that could help.. (maybe it did 🙂
I’ve often asked myself about how long I’d keep writing.. At first I told myself I’d stop at a year.. then at 3 years.. then I said 5 years.. which would be today.. At this moment.. I don’t feel like stopping..

Maybe someday.. but not today..

nite all, love you sam
-me

Thursday night – Thanksgiving

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Today was Thanksgiving.. usually one of my least favorite holidays of the whole year.. I never much cared for it.. (it’s not a great day to be a vegetarian) .. but since Sam’s passing.. the week itself has always been hard..

Even so.. we had a good day.. It started with a run. Diane and I went down to the round church to join about 100 folks for the 5th annual Jarred Williams Turkey Trot.. The Turkey Trot is in memory of Jarred Williams who died of a brain tumor in 2001. Since then, his parents Dwayne and Maureen have raised about 300,000 dollars to support families of sick kids..  Dwayne announced at before the  race that they were goign to close down the foundation after this year. they’d done what they needed to do.. I am so impressed with the good that they’ve done.  Diane ran home which was 5k.. I ran 10K…. Sorry for the poor pictures.. they’re from my old phone.. here’s Dwayne making the announcement

 

here’s Danielle, Jarred’s sister and Maureen,, Jarred’s mom.

After the race.. we just lazed around the house all day.. trying to stay hungry for tonight.. Gabe and I passed some of the time by continuing our exploits in photographing feed being blown up in slow motion .. here are some more shots ..

 

Finally around 6, we all went up to Deb’s for her inaugural Thanksgiving dinner in her new place.. as always.. it was delicious.. it was just us, deb and her kids and the kenny’s .. good company and good food. !  It brought back many good.. and soem panful memories.. I’ll ever forget that first thansgiving when we came back from Florida after Sam’s accident.. our house was full of pople.. it was wonderful and surreal.. and sad..

 

tonight was only easy and fun..

 

diane had put an angel card under each persons plate.. mine said ‘patience’.. a good mantra for me now.

 

the carved turkey looked particularly beast-like !

 

ah .. jsut like a traditional thanksgiving.. the kids crowded around an ipad !…

 

Ian showed us a weird way to get your face to flap around.. too tempting to miss on slow
motion..

then scary movies for the kids.. and home to bed for us.

 

Now I’ve got to sign off.. too sleepy to keep typing.. I am thankful for my family and freinds.. and the love and support we get from you all. thank you !..

hope you all are having a great holiday

nite all, nite sam
-me

Wednesday night – blowing up cupcakes

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Glorious day.. I spent most of it working in my lab building stuff..   The hilight of the day. however came a few minutes ago. Gabe decided that we should explore food ballistics.. We just spent a very pleasant hour blowing up nasty ‘little debbie’ choclate cupcakes.. We didn’t use anything fancy.. just good ‘ole american junk food.. and some of our abundant store of fireworks.

 

It was cold out.. so we decided to do it in  the garage … with Diane’s encouragement .. … We had two cameras going.. our big slr and my little blogging camera.. That little camera happens to have a 60 frame per second ultra slow motion mode. .. perfect for culinary demolition..
Here is test number 3.. I just barely got out of the way on tests 1 and 2.

You know … I really got the perfect family for me. .. I’m very thankful for that..
nite all.. nite sam
-me

Tueday night – Donate life

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Today marks the third day of marking Sam’s death. Today is the day Sam saved four other lives by becoming an organ donor. His heart, liver, kidney and kidney pancreas pair made our saddest day a day of new life for those other folks.

It was an easy decision for us to make on the hardest day of our lives. We new Sam’s generous spirit would be grateful for the chance to  help others. The process was as fascinating as it was sad.. As soon as we made the decision to move  to donation, the staff at the hospital began the difficult task of matching Sam’s strong organs with the folks who needed them. On the afternoon of the 22nd..  four surgical team stood by to receive sam’s organs as e said our last good bye to him.. To this day I can’t go to that moment wihtout breaking down..

like now…

THrough an amazing set of circumstances around our work on the Discovery show The Colony.  we got a chance to meet Bob , the guy who received one of Sam’s kidneys.. we even got to go to his wedding  You can read about us meting Bob here

http://johncohn.org/base/2009/08/09/sunday-night-amazing-story/

and about this wedding here.

http://johncohn.org/base/2010/07/24/friday-night-bob-and-pam/

We also heard from Jessica, She was a transplant nurse on her first day of work when she assisted with Sam’s donation.. she also found us by watching The Colony

http://johncohn.org/base/2009/08/18/monday-night-another-amazing-story/

I still remember the skill and compassion of the transplant staff at the hospital in Tampa.. What a hard and amazing job.. .  .. Our dear friend Alison (also from The Colony)    just yesterday started a new career as a Transplant Coordinator in San Diego .. What guts and skill and heart that takes.. (We love you Alison !)

 

Then.. of course .. there was our close friend Dylan.. Sam’s good friend.. who stepped in as a friend and mentor to Gabe when Sam died. Dylan died last April.. and he two saved four people with the donation of his strong organs.. Going through that same hard path again with Dylan and his family was almost too much to bear. So familiar and just unimaginably painful.

Through these experiences, I’ve learned more than I ever hoped to know about organ donation. There will never be enough organs for all the people who need them.. the vagaries of supply, the  difficulty of tissue matching. The most important thing I learned was the importance of ‘the conversation’.  Many potential donations do not happen because the family does not know the donors wishes..

So.. that brings me to ‘the ask’,, You can do something for me.. for Sam.. and for Dylan… Right now..    Please turn to your family and let them know how you feel about organ donation. G-d willing it never comes up in your life.. but on the remote chance it does.. they will know..  We completely understand that some folks personal preference or religious beliefs don’t support donation.. that’s fine too.. just let your loved ones know… (If you have a  moment.. you can even register your intentions at donatelife)

Thanks for doing that ..

 

We love you Sam.. and Dylan  thanks for all you’ve done in the world..

nite all, nite sam

-mc