Saturday night – The club

It’s been a nice sweetbitter day.. i say sweetbitter because it’s diffidently on the brighter side of bitter sweet. The day began with a trip to Williamstown with my freinds Sandy and Michael. d Sandy’s father and my good freind Gunter  87th birthday was today . Gunter’s living in a an assisted living facility for the past six months or so after moving here from the Orcas island in Washington state. Sandy, Gunter an his wife Ellen’s house was on the next street over from us in Houston. I waited at the same bus stop with sandy for countless hot Houston years. In high school we got to be good freinds. Her’s was the local cool hang out house. Her parents were cool too.. we talked to them when we trouble talking to our own folks.. everyone needs that sort of non-parental adult counseling from time to time..
When Sandy moved up to Vermont, I used to come see her here.. it was during one of those trips that I learned of IBM up here.. and the rest is history.. It was great seeing Gunter.. he had a stroke a couple of years back and can’t get around too well. His speech is slowed and his hearing is a bit off..which was tough to see.. but he’s as sharp as a tack in there. While we visited her got several happy birthday calls.. some in English some in German and he switched back and forth easily . It was great catching up with him..

on the way back fro Gunter’s I had to ride in the back of Sandy and Micheal’s car.. under some insulation.. Cozy and warm.!

Later in the day we had a gathering at our house of ‘The Club’ .. The three families are  not really an official group, I call us that because each of us has lost a child. .. One book I read said it is the club with teh highest dues..   Very sad but very true. h

Jim and Sue’s sun Dylan died last April. He was a great friend to both Sam and Gabe.. long time readers here know his story well.. Jim and Sue were here with their son Dustin daughter Dani and her freind Ali. Pete and Carols’ son Zeke died only 5 weeks ago. Like Dylan, Zeke wen to CVU high schoo. Zeke’s twin brother Eben and his sister Sami were here with us too.  We spent about 4 hours just hanging out .. laughing and talking.. i don’t recall a single tear shed.. which was not what I expected.. but was just  fine.  We talked about our kids, living and not.. our experience in this strange new  world of grieving. It was amazingly upbeat, we shared storied, looked at pictures . ate and drank..I think being each others company allowed us to open up in ways we might not be able to with folks in different circumstance .

Pete. Carol and family were doing remarkably well for the short time since Zeke’s passing.  I was surprised to see them so willing to be out and about so soon,,, but as I told someone shortly after Sam’s death. we had to be somewhere all the time.. why not here ?!?!

OK.. it’s late and I need to sleep.. more later.

 

nite all, nite sam

-me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday night – rooms

I worked at home today.. and took the afternoon off because gabe was on vacation. Our big job for the day was to finish his move form his old room into his new room… the new room is the one we call ‘sam’s room’.. It was the room that Sam had just moved into a few months before he died. Before that it was Max’s room.. and before that it was Diane and my room… It’s big and sunny.. and interesting.. it has a stage in it.
Since Sam died, it’s been half a shrine to Sam and half a family room. Honestly most of the stuff in there was not from Sam.. it was from his freinds when he died. The walls were papered with letters picture posters and paintings of Sam from his friends.. In the hours days. weeks, month, years after he died, we would go in there and look at all that stuff and cry.. sometimes smile and just be.. Lately it’s more of a hang out spot, I would still go in there to look at sam’s pictures.. but my heart would not be as heavy.. Its been more than 5 years.. and it was time .. time to reclaim that room

 

 

Last week Diane, Gabe and some freinds started going thorough all that stuff.. I was out of town.. and frankly glad not to have to do it.. in the end Diane did nearly all of it. In the end we have boxes of Sam’s stuff , his clothes, his things… boxes of letters to us and to Sam after he died.. and boxes of … well….junk.. it’s not sacred enough to keep.. but too personal to toss out.. We’ll do soemthing with it.. maybe burn it

Today Gabe finished the process of taking apart his old room.. Again.. quite an  archeology project. I helped by pulling out hundreds of  thumbtacks with him

 

By the end of the day, Gabe was moved in.. and his new room looked great !… It was all him…

He kept his brothers pictures and poster  on the wall.

I wasn’t sure how i’d feel.. but It feels very good for all of us  to make this transition.. life moves on, rooms change…

and some things just can’t change..

nite all, nite sam

-me

Thursday night – Pina

Just home from a great night out. Dane and I went with a bunch of friends to see the movie ‘Pina’ Its a tribute movie made by Wim Winders about the work of Pina Bausch The German Modern Dance genius who died in 2009. The move was a special showing at the Majestic in Williston. The place was packed. Pretty amazing for a modern dance movie.. even one in 3D> We put on our 3d glasses and filed in..

 

here are Jess and Liggy looking cool

The movie was amazing… It was an hour and foty minutes long.. but it passed too quickly ! I really cant describe it.. the trailer below gives you an idea

 

 

Afterwards we all had dinner in Oscars.. The restursnt at the theater.  We had a great group. Artists, musicians, dancers and technicians.. Tottaly great catching up with everyone . Thanks to M. for pulling it together !

OK.. my typing is keeping diane awake.. gotta sleep

more tomorrow

 

nite all, nite sam

-me

 

 

 

WEdnesday night – Leap of faith…

Happy Leap day everyone !,It’s a free day.. a bonus day really. I spent my bonus day working with a bunch ofyoung workers from all over the country.. Not a bad way to spend it.. When you think of it, it’s quite remarkable that soemthing as esoteric as the earths track through space and around its own axis  would cause us to make such an unscheduled stop on he track of tick marks on our calender. Actually.. when you think about it.. Leap year must be hell on computers programs .. like a mini Y2K of special code with bugs

if (day == leapYear) {

insert bug here

} else {

}

Even things like nursery rhymes break down..

Thirty days hath September,
April, June and November;
February has twenty eight alone
All the rest have thirty-one
Except in Leap Year, that’s the time
When February’s Days are twenty-nine

Or as I always learned it…

Thirty days hath September,
April, June and no wonder;
All the rest have peanut butter
Except Grandma , she rides a bike

 

Ahh.. my flight is going to board.. Hope you’ve had a extra day !

good leap-nite everyone, good leap-nite Sam

-me

 

ps. i love seeing Billy’s invention on every magazine rack in the country !