Yikes.. it’s very late and I have an early meeting tomorrow. I’ll have to make this quick. We woke to clouds and drizzle this morning, but I was determined ot get back to running now that I’v finally shaken the last of this flu. It felt wonderful running  the Rivershore  even though the trail was still about half bare and half snow covered. I can see each day where the bare spots grow.. Maybe tomorrow they will connect and I’ll have mud to run on. I just realized that I’ll have to come up with a substitute for writing Sam’s  name in the snow..  Somehow writing his name in the mud doesn’t sound as cool

    The day  passed reasonably smoothly.  I am fining it a bit easier to get ‘in’ to my work these days which is helpful.   I am finding  that work is not stressing me out ..hardly at all.. which is a huge change.    One work related thing I worked out today is that I got permission to bring the kids to an IBM corporate event that Diane and I get to go to every year. We have to pay their way.. but they’ll be able to stay in our hotel room .. I was thinking about skipping the meeting this year.. but now it will be a much needed family vacation for the four of us. I tell you. This is a very cool company when you need them… a very cool company.

   I took a break this afternoon to start my participation in a Grieving and the Internet study from University of Utrecht in the Netherlands. Diane had found a link to the study on a web page about Dr. Kubler-Ross, the woman who wrote ‘On Death and Dying’ and The Wheel of Life’. The study is looking at how electronic communication can be used to help folks in there healing. I was assigned to the ‘control’ group which means I’ll only get the surveys. Not the internet supplied therapy that they are testing. Even so, I think it will be fun and interesting to participate. I love surveys.. just the thought that someone would pay attention to my opinions is unusual and exciting. The intro survey I took  today was very interesting and in depth. There were many questions about how grieving was effecting my self worth and my sense of trust in others and in the world in general .   I actually think our experience with Sam’s death has increased my faith in others more than anything else I’ve ever been through.. I gather from the questions I answered today that this isn’t everyone’s’ experience through loss. I came away form answering those 100 questions feeling lucky for our  very supportive community. 

    I took off around 5:30 and skidded home just in time to take Diane’s 6PM yoga class in the barn. There were about 15 folks there today. Diane did an very peaceful Yin Yoga sequence today .. maybe it was because of the drizzly grey weather. It was just what I needed.  I find it both mentally and physically centering.. She’s a peach ,that girl.

   After Yoga Diane and I ate dinner while Gabe, Max, Scott and Mason bombarded us with stories from the day. The big story from last night is that Max, Scott and Mason finished mixing an entry for a music contest they were entering   around 1AM..  That was too early for them to retire so they did what any red blooded American boys would do.. they dressed up as Ninja’s and went to fill up a friends house with toilet paper as part of April fools day..   They managed to gently let themselves into the friends  house by crawling on the roof

then tastefully re decorated using single ply toilet paper..

They had enough decorating material left over that tey were acually able to drop by aother firend and redecorate her car.

They finished up around 3:30 and headed home. On the way back they came across a  truck that had slid off the road and a very inebriated driver. The boys helped the guy get his car free then drove him to his house.. They managed to get home around five..   My life feels positively boring in comparison…

   Well.. speaking of boring.. it’s time for sleep..  G’nte my family..   Hag Sameach (Happy Passover)

Ps.  For those of you who observe Passover.. Hag Sameach !.. (Happy Peasach)..  We’re  celebrating  with a Seder here on Wed.

Diane was already up and around when I woke up this morning.. no surprise there.. I ewnt down and wished her a happy birthday.   There was bright sunlight streaming in the windows and it felt so much like Spring !  As soon as I was properly awake I started in on the crepes.. Crepes have been  the celebratory breakfast meal in our house since I can remember. I remember my mom making them for us when I was little..  I knew there were several spare kids in the house, so I doubled the recipe and started crepe-ing out.. Diane cut up the fruit.. Both Max and Gabe surfaced early and by about 9:30 we were ready for breakfast.. That’s normally still the middle of the night around here on weekends.   We sat down to the breakfast feats and lit a candle for Sam to welcome him into the celibration of Diane’s birthday.. Everyone felt pretty good.

As soon as the breakfast dishes were clear,  Diane took Gabe and his friends to go walk around Richmond.. then she came back and she, Chai and I hopped in the car and went down to the Catamount Ski Trail entrance about 2 miles down Duxbury road.. We figured the forest road there would be sunny and clear.. Sunny yes.. clear no.. there was still anywhere from 6″ to a foot of snow on the road. It was heavy and sticky stuff.. so it was slow going.. but   the sun was out and so were we.. It was wonderful.. Cha had rolled in something pretty nasty yesterday.. so getting her out in the fresh air seemed like a doubly good thing to do. 

   After our hike, we all met up at the house again for birthday peasants and cake.   It was a nice quiet birthday celebration. As always, we wrapped the presents in towels and socks..   saves on wrapping papers.

Diane got some nice stuff.. including an Ipod for her yoga music from the three of us .that Gabe had picked out.  Max had also made Diane a replacement for one of a set of earrings that Sam had made for Diane..   I gave Diane something from Sam that I’d had made in Shanghai a few weeks ago. This guy had a little stand where he copied pictures onto polished rock I lent him my Sam picture button . It was so cool watching him make this by hand. using only a hand punch and a soft hammer..

   When it was time for cake we invites Scott, Adrianna, and Jeff in to have come on in and join us..  Diane wanted 5 candles in her cake,. I think that’s going to be our new tradition going forward.

    The middle of the afternoon we all just hung out.. Diane started reading  some of the books she’d gotten for her birthday. Gabe and I spent some time working on our pond skimming set up for next week and Max and his friends worked on a music video they’re making for a contest.. It was all pretty peaceful..   Several friends dropped by or called to wished Diane a happy birthday.. It was really nice. Jeff D brought a crocus that had just bloomed, Jen brought some SamStones and a cool vase she’d made.

Maureen had made her some bath salts. Sumner brought buy a hat he’d knit  for Diane..

I know she felt loved.

Around 5:30 Diane, , Chai and I took Gabe up to BRMS for Lacrosse practice.   On the drive we saw a home made  sign in Jericho Center that said ‘Coming Soon: A brand new McDonald’s ‘… which shocked us for a second.. until we realized that today was also April Fools!.. While Gabe  was at practice, , Diane, Chai and I took anther walk at the Jericho park. There were lots of dogs there for Chai to say hi to.. It was great being outside again When we walk, Diane and I talk about all sorts of things.. Today we talked about expectations.. and how it’s so easy to put so much weight on a day like a birthday.. or how easy it is to put expectations on ourselves, how are kids are doing , etc. .    At this point we’re up, around and even enjoying ourselves sometimes..   we figure that’s pretty good. Diane is such a wonderful, wise  person..

   Gabe got out of practice around 7:45 and we headed in to Joyce’s for a birthday dinner. Max and Scott met us there and we had  wonderful  Chinese food for dinner. Gabe reminded us that we’d gone to Joyce’s for Sam’s 14hth birthday and even thought we were late for a movie they wouldn’t let us leave until they’d made him a special desert (fried ice cream)  as a surprise..   Tonight was less hectic.. we enjoyed our food and then placed a SamStone in one of the plants at the restaurant..

   We got home around  9:30 and realized we still had a ton of stuff to do tonight.. Diane and I worked on a new version of a Sam T-Shirt that Hannah D. is going to help us get printed.   We’re using a great picture of Sam and some artwork that he made.. I think they’ll be great. I’ll let everyone know when they’re ready.. Gabe and Diane then went to sleep . Diane had had a very good birthday.. I was really  happy about that…

I was thinking of going to bed myself when  I realized I had to get our Tax prep together for tomorrow. .. I spend about 2 hours doing that… which brought up so many memories from last year..   How many dependents do I have ?   It’s just one of the many things that remind us each day of you Sam…

 -jc

It’s a sleepy Saturday around the Cohn-Mariano compound. The boys are off hanging with friends Diane’s having a pre-birthday tea with her friend Kathy and I’ve just woken up from the 3rd (!) of my naps on this sunny warm day. Life doesn’t get any slower or more peaceful…  It’s just what we need now..

    Last night  was a bit more active. We had a pot luck up at Tim and Jen’s  in honor of Diane’s birthday. She generally does not like a big deal made of her birthdays so it was  relatively small.. The food theme last night was Thai food and it was amazing. there were some many  exotic and spicy dishes..    This is the 3^rd or so of themed potluck’s we’ve tried and it’s been really fun   trying to  learn a little different ethnic cooking.. I think we’re going to try Brazilian next..

    After dinner we did the birthday cake thing then sat down to make SamStones..

So far we can’t make them fast enough. I’ve been  doing my best to keep track of the places folks leave them.. please check let me know if you know where one is that I don’t yet have on my map) .. In addition to SamStones making.. Diane taught a short That massage course to some of the folks there.. here they are giving each other back and neck massages.. it was fun to watch…

Another funny thing from last night was Jamal. Jamal is a computerized fake baby that gets passed around to the kids in the health class at Mount Mansfield HS. It was Kevin’s turn to be Jamal’s ‘dad’.. and we all ‘helped’ .. Jamal does many things a real baby does ie: he needs to be changed , fed and rocked.. and .. he cries at odd hours, of the night at high volume. He’s got a small recording computer inside that t measures the time it took for each need to be met.. and it measures things like vibration (no shaking !).. and head support.  This allows the teachers to figure out how attentive each ‘parent’ was.. and assign them a grade.   I think the idea is to help kids understand how big a responsibility it is to be a parent..  It’s so annoying that it’s also a pretty potent ‘responsible dating’ message that would put even the most maternal or paternal kid I know off the idea of childrearing anytime soon. It was a hoot watching Kevin attend to this thing.. many times during the evening  it started wailing and  he had to go an ‘feed’ it.. change it.. etc.. At one point late in the evening Hannah T and I figured it was going too well. We decided to help by painting Jamal’s face with a bunch of make  up then spanking it  and running away..   Kevin came running to clean him up.. he’ll make a good dad someday.. but he’s got to work on that neck hold..

We didn’t get home until after 1.. we all were beat and slept well. This morning Diane woke me up early (8:30  and we drove down to  Charlotte to see our friend Jill, Jill and her 2 dogs, Diane, Chai and I then took a beautiful and leisurely walk up Mt. Philo.. My Philo is really more of a high  hill which  sticks out of the flat valley floor. Form the top there was a gorgeous view of the Adirondacks on one side and the Green Mountains on the other.. The prettiest part of the view, though, was Diane.

We also saw some friendly tree spirits on our walk

Not much else happened after that..  I  came home  and kept falling asleep.. I’m still pretty wiped out from my case of plague this week. I did manage to wake myself long enough to go down and pick Gabe. Trevor  and Ian up from talent Skate Park . Gabe had gone down there to get trucks and wheels mounted on the ‘Sam Forever’ deck that Paul, Dave and I had made using Paul’s laser. It’s an amazing looking board now.

   Hey.. I hear Diane downstairs.. so I’m going to wrap up. Her real birthday is tomorrow.. Please send her some love. These events are all so bitter sweet for us now…The love our friends really helps with the ‘sweet’ .. We’ll look for you tomorrow Sam..

 
-jc

Folks…

     I’m at a small Samstones gathering that we’re having in honor of Diane’s Birthday. I snuck away for a second as not to miss a day here.. I have some pictures of the event that I’ll post either later tonight or tomorrow. 

    One quick thing in case I don’t have a chance to blog more tonight. Wendy broaght over a book on Dream Interpretation that she found at that great library of knowledge, Cosco. The book is pretty fun because they link everything in your dreams to soem concept in life… (“asparagus” == youth, “dump trucks” == dumping things from your life.. now that’s deep…).. Anyway.. she brought it out to analyze my ‘forest people’ dream.. Here’s the secret code:

– Mushrooms (what the people were floating on) – good that comes from bad

– Plaid (what the people were wearingin) – input from many sources

– Basements (where the poeple were floating around) – your deep subconcious

– Floating ( what the mushrooms were doing) – an aimless spirtual path

– Backhoes (what the people were hiding from) – the need to dig deeper in your subconcious

By this scholarly reading I am either a) working subconsiously on integrating a bunch of lessons in order to synthesize them into some great learning or b) I need to be vary wary of introspective backhoes…

OK… gotta get back to the gathering.. more later.. or more tomorrow… gnite folks, g’nite Sam.

-jc