Saturday night – slow day

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Very slow day.. and we all needed that..     An hour drive down to middlebury for a lacrosse game..

with a brief stop at Homer’s to say hi and recruit his help on an art project I’m working on…

The game in Middlebury  was really good.. the teams were well matched. We won !..Gabe had a very good game..

It was absolutely freezing out there….  gabe was out playing in shorts while diane and I were wrapped in down coats…

It was snowing by the time we  got home… Spring, Vermont style

Diane’s moving kinda slow today after pulling a muscle in her leg.. She’s got to take it easy.. I like taking care of her..

Not much else happening. I’m grateful for such a quiet day..

Nite all, nite sam

-me

Friday night – washed out

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It’s the end of a tough week.. I feel really washed out..Grieving.. even by proxy.. is hard work..   All week friends have been checking in with us.. and with Gabe to see how we’re doing..   Many folks comment that Dylan’s passing must bring back painful memories.. .. we appreciate everyone’s concerns.. though it’s not exactly like that.. Dylan’s death doesn’t bring back memories for us.. we always have those memories…. every day..  ..  it’s much more that we miss him.. and we hate seeing his family hurting..   Again, .. we do really appreciate folks checking in

I’m feeling better now.. but I’m still in a fog and not thinking straight.    I had to take it easy again today…. Luckily it was a rather light work day.. I had breakfast with Burning man friend Duane.. then calls all morning.. I took advantage of the call time.. and some help from Justin at work to rearrange my office and hang some pictures of and from my kids.. Putting those pics up helped me feel better.

THen I met Chis and Kasey for lunch.. it was so good catching up with them..

Here are father and son tribute tats to Sam.. Kasey’s brother Jake has the same one..   that’s love.. !

The rest of the day was meetings.. then a short stop at Jim and Sue’s to check on them.   Then home…

I mentioned that being ‘washed up’ was the theme of the day..    The thought came ot me as I dropped my sports coat and my one tie at the dry cleaner.. I’d accidentally thrown them all in the wash machine when I came back from Boston suddenly.. I’m going to see if they can salvage either of them.. if not.. I’ll be tie-less !.    I also had to drop by Bestbuy to replace the bluetooth earopone from my phoe.. His was a replacement for the 4th one of those I’ve destroyed b accidental washing..

The perils of clean living I suppose..

Nite all, nite Sam

-me

Thursday evening – not quite normal

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I had the closest thing to a normal work day I’ve had in about a week. … I was on the phone all day, soem good meetings, some frustrating ones.. lots of catch up email.. some staring at data.. All in a days work.. except for a very productive lunch meeting with friends liggy jarrod and mike.. I got to about 3 o’clock when I realized how strange it was to be having anything approaching a normal day. Somehow.. it felt like ‘normal’ was not the way it was supposed to feel this soon after Dylan’s passing.
I reminded myself.. that now is not normal. I remember the day after Sam’s memorial service.. when out of town friends and relatives headed home.. the fridge was packed with carbo-loaded love from caring friends.. the flowers all over the hose, some beginning to wilt . and cakes, pies and candy everywhere. (There’s something about grief and carbs that go together.. ).. I remember that feeling of.. ‘what now’.. I called Jim and Sue.. and got back in touch with that weird timeless feeling ..

I always remember the analogy of driving near a mountain.. you could drive for an hour an the mountains wouldn’t get any closer or any further. Weeks ran int hours, minutes ran into days.. I think it was two years before my internal clock synched up with my external clock.. .. or my eternal clock..

I did get something today the grounded me very quickly.. Hannah sent me an interview Dylan did for a movie a local kid was making.. It was so good to see him again.. Here he is at his 16 year best.. 100% dylan..

OK.. all for now.. hope to get soem much needed sleep tonight..

more tomorrow..

nite all, nite sam..

-me

Wednesday night – Dylan’s memorial

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he It’s been a tough sad and uplifting day. Dylan’s memorial was this afternoon at Bolton Mountain..  I was both looking forward to it and somehow dreading it. I vividly remember my state of mind going in to Sam’s memorial.. I was so sad.. and felt it was so unfair..that we had to have this huge gathering about sam.. without sam.. .I  remember also being so gratified that so many of our freinds and family came out to support sam and the rest of us.

I could only imagine how it felt to Jim and Sue coming there today. So many folks had put their hearts into organizing this event for Dylan.   I got up there at about 11 to find the place already buzzing with friends and family setting up for the gathering.. The folks at Dylan school, CVU, had graciously volunteered to handle the A/V.. they’d set up screens and audio upstairs and downstairs to handle the large crowd we expected.

one group of folks put Dylan’s pictures all over the both floors of the lodge.. It was nice seeing them all

We also put out lost of organ donor information.. that was a major theme for the day

some folks helped us put Dylan’s self portrait (in ductape) in ach of the mmemorial programs

Diane and I had to take a short break to talk to Natalie, the reporter for Fox news.. She was great.. she asked us all about the organ donation process.   We love gettign the chance to get the message on organ donation out to the public.. and we appreciate her help in doing that.

THe service started at 1:30 every square inch of the bolton lodge was jammed with people.. upstairs.

Dylan’s family was up front..

the back of upstairs.

The bar

Even downstairs


I counted abotu 180 cars.. that makes me think that ther ewere upwards of 600 folks there today.. and that doesn’t account for the number of kids that came by bis..

here’s one of our avortie smiltng faces.. hannah and dave

Zach Hoag was the leader of the service. He was all the kids first snowboard coach.. then he left to start his own ministry.. he was the prefect choice to lead the service.. and he did a really great job

Gabe was abotu the 3rd seaker. he did such a great job,. spoke right from his heart, told soem funny Dylan stories.. and told everone how much Dylan would be missed. I was so proud and so sad for Gabe,..He’s really missing Dylan and will forever.

many folks spoke including Dylan’s grandmother.

his friend Ivan

his girlfriend jasmine.

Dylan’s brother Dustin and his friend Evan played some great music.


After the comments and the music, Zach did a nice closing.. then a moment of silence. then finally a huge round of applause for Dylan..

Afterwords, folks were welcomed downstairs for a potluck.. and/or outside for a rail jam competition .

the rail jam was jun and drizzly.. with a great jump at the end..   Ralphie and Luke managed to build the park from rails that belonged to CVU.. one of the parent had allowed them to use his flatbed to drag the rails up to the park..    The kids really had fun on them tonight

by about 5L30 things were winding down.. we helped clean up.. then headed home..
after a quick dinner, Dane and I went back over to the peteres.. THey’d just gotten soem frozen steaks in the mail.. so we took the dry ice packing to make mad science drinks.. here’s Sue’s brother showing his magical tendencies.

and finally.. a toast for dylan !..

it’s been a long and tough day.. but I feel somehow comforted and at peace.. today’s gather really helped me..as I’m sure it helped many..

OK.. I need to slep now..

gnite all
Gnite sam, gnite dylan… good luck and fly free !

-me