Yearly Archives: 2011

Wednesday night – that guy

I worked at home all day… and alternated work calls with finishing up a talk I need to give on Friday morning. As part of pulling together that talk, I found  a picture of myself taken about  months before Sam died.

I know this picture well. It was taken when I got my last promotion t work . I slapped it into my tlak.. and didn’t think much of it.. but then a few minutes later I went back and stared at it. … I had this strong sense that I wanted to somehow reach back in time and…. what ? .. Tell him what was going to happen ? .. protect him from what was going to happen .. ? .,, .. It was a strange helpless feelign.. knowing thta there was nothign I could do from this point in the futre.

Instead, I sent this guy as much love as I could.. I wished him healing and strength.. I told him that while it would never be ‘all right .. he would survive.. even go on to thrive..

I am eaming a message to my future self to remember to look back on my present slef.. and do the same thing for me..

nite all

nite Sam

-me

Tuesday night – maitrī

I had a nightmare of a day.. everythign that could go wrong at work did..  by the end of the day, all of my composure and relaxation from the holiday break had vanished.. along with my sanity. It seemed that each new phone call or email brought more bad work news.. On top of that, I have a night full of work ahead of me.. including a major talk to prepare. By the time my last call was over at 7PM.. I was a wreck.. luckily it was time for Diane’s tuesday night yoga/meditation class. It’s a 45 minute quiet yoga class followed by 30 minutes of meditation..   During the first 30 minutes or so, my mind was on my day.. I was convinced that everythign I was doing was wrong.. that I wasn’t working hard enough. .. and that  I was pretty much a jerk… .. but slowly, the relaxing music, the deep stretching and Diane’s  beautiful voice took over..  That’s when the word ‘maitrī’ came into my head.. It’s a sanskrit word that means ‘loving kindness’. It’s a Buddhist tenant you practice first on yourself, then on your loved ones, then on your aquantances, then on your enemies.. and finally on all sentient beings. I was struggling on step 1 there.. I wasn’t practicing loving kindness on myself.. I stopped and said to myself.. ‘hey.. things are messed up.. but.. its not (all) your fault.. and you’re doing the best that you can do..” . actually.. I started repeating that long phrase in my head as a sort of mantra. that put me in a much better place.. After class, I had a nice dinner with Diane, Deb and Gabe (matt and ian are in New hampshire now).. I helped Gabe wiht his math and spanih.. and I’m just now sitting down to what looks like an all nighter.. Things are still messed up, I still have too much to do.. but I like myself better than I did at 6PM..

celibrate small victories..

nite all, note Sam

-me

Monday night – a Zatar Miracle !

You know it’s the time of the year for heartwarming stories of small  miracles.. Well, one happened to me today.

Yesterday, Diane and Deb decided to clean one of our cupboards. Like many folks, we have tons of botlles and bags of spices htat have been hanging around in there forever. Deb uncovered two bags of my favorite spice: Zatar.. it’s a middle eastern specialty  made with thyme, sesame seeds, summac buds and salt. You mix it with olive oil and dip pita in it.. or drizzle it over bread and roast it.. So yummy.. I love it so much that I adopted it as my stage name when I do science shows (‘Dr. Zatar .. the mad engineer !).,because I was tired of people calling me Mr. Cohn (Mr Cohn is my dad !)  .. I even used to tell all three kids crazy  bedtime stories with me as Zatar, Max as baby Zatar, Sam as baby Rataz and Gabe as baby Tazar..

I even have it on my license plate !

Anyway.. there were two bags of the stuff I’d gotten from who knows where ..   I was all set to make zatar bread for everyone when Diane pointed out that there were spider webs in both bags..   Sadly, I had to throw them out..

.. but today.. I had my little zatar miracle. Friend Betsy showed up for 6 PM yoga with the cutest bottle of zatar for me.. She didn’t know what it was for.. but she knew I liked the name.. and saw it in a store in boston..

We need to take our miracles where we can find them 🙂

nite everyone, nite sam

-me

ps. Last night Devon and I made a homopolar (ie. no cummutation) motor because he’d seen one on youtube. it’s made out of a D battery, a very strong magnet, a peice of copper wire and a piece of foil.. So simple and so cool Nice !

Sunday night – USASA

Peaceful day.. I spent nearly all of it with Gabe at the USASA slopestyle competition at  Stowe. It was his first for the season. It looked like it was going to be a yucky day out.. warm (37)  and drizzly .. I pictured standing in the rain all day…The rain let up by start time, but  It was really foggy /. You couldn’t even see the rails !

Luckily it cleared up pretty nicely y the time of Gabe’s first run ! ..

Here he is about an eight the way through a really nice.. backside 720

And a backside 3 .


And a nice finish..

Both his runs were good !  He came in 2nd in his age category.. .and it was a big field.. I was really proud of him !

He and I are sitting on the coauh now tryign to get ready for the first days after vacation.. him for school.. me for work.. It’s been a nice break Hope it was for you too !

Nite all, nite sam

-me